I am having a rough time today. I am not looking forward to Christmas, and that use to be my favorite holiday, I miss my daughter and I don't want to have to pretend to everyone that I am alright when inside my heart is breaking. I was doing well but the closer it gets to christmas the more depressed and angry I get that I don't have my daughter with me as I should. Part of me just wishes to skip to the new year all together where hopefully I will find more peace and a time to look forward to trying again and not being so afraid. I know you ladies can relate and I have read that some of you have been having a hard time too. We need eachothers support I guess. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in the new year happy. I try to stay positive but it is getting really hard. I just want my daughter with me for Christmas. I just want not to be so afraid of trying again or of my future. I want to find peace and happiness again. I just feel like I get so close and then something sets it off again.
I am sorry for the vent, I know you ladies are struggling too. I hope it gets easier for all of us soon.