First, let me introduce myself. I am a LONG time lurker. I have been visiting preg.org for nearly 2 years. It all started on the thinking of concieving boards, then on to ttc, and then in Sept. of this year it was to the May 2008 board.
Now, sadly I am on the loss boards. I never thought this could happen to me.
Last Saturday evening I was experiencing minor aching cramps and then a very small amount of spotting. I was 16 weeks pregnant! I panicked and went to the ER right away. They checked my cervix and said it was completely closed. They also were able to find the heartbeat (although it took a long time, we were not able to hear it, and it was 135 bpm). So they sent me home. I woke up at 3 am with extreme cramps. At 7am I was back in the ER with HEAVY bleeding.
By 1pm it was all over. I had lost my baby boy.
Now a week later I am still in complete disbelief. I wander around my house not sure of what to do. Not ready to pack away all the baby things I bought or the maternity clothes.
I am so glad that I found this board. I have been reading through it for days now. In a way, I think hearing that I am not alone has been helping me. My dh is worried because every time I read the boards I cry. I think crying is the only thing that helps right now. Christmas is going to present a whole new dilema for me. I would like to skip it this year!
We are going to ttc again right away. I will be seeing the dr tomorrow afternoon and I am sure he will say to wait a few cycles, but I don't think I can.
Thanks for letting me ramble and for giving me this safe place to express my overwhelming grief.