First, let me introduce myself. I am a LONG time lurker. I have been visiting preg.org for nearly 2 years. It all started on the thinking of concieving boards, then on to ttc, and then in Sept. of this year it was to the May 2008 board.
Now, sadly I am on the loss boards. I never thought this could happen to me.
Last Saturday evening I was experiencing minor aching cramps and then a very small amount of spotting. I was 16 weeks pregnant! I panicked and went to the ER right away. They checked my cervix and said it was completely closed. They also were able to find the heartbeat (although it took a long time, we were not able to hear it, and it was 135 bpm). So they sent me home. I woke up at 3 am with extreme cramps. At 7am I was back in the ER with HEAVY bleeding.
By 1pm it was all over. I had lost my baby boy.
Now a week later I am still in complete disbelief. I wander around my house not sure of what to do. Not ready to pack away all the baby things I bought or the maternity clothes.
I am so glad that I found this board. I have been reading through it for days now. In a way, I think hearing that I am not alone has been helping me. My dh is worried because every time I read the boards I cry. I think crying is the only thing that helps right now. Christmas is going to present a whole new dilema for me. I would like to skip it this year!
We are going to ttc again right away. I will be seeing the dr tomorrow afternoon and I am sure he will say to wait a few cycles, but I don't think I can.
Thanks for letting me ramble and for giving me this safe place to express my overwhelming grief.
I am so sorry for your loss. This is the place to be. The ladies are all so sensitive and understanding. I lost my daughter at 16 weeks also. The first week I was just numb so I think it is good that you are crying. It did not hit me until 1 month later and it came in the form of panic attacks. You will go through a rollercoaster of emotions, just let yourself feel and be gentle with yourself and husband.
I am so sorry. Just know you are not alone. Vent anytime you need to.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I completely understand wanting to TTC again soon and you know what is best for you. Just please remember that there is a reason most OB's recommend waiting through a couple cycles, not only for the emotional healing, but also the physical as well. Your body needs to be ready to handle another pregnancy. But you may not even be told to wait. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was also on May 08... we lost our little girl in October. I know how hard it must be for you to lose your little boy. I just want to wish you the best of luck when and if you decide to try again, and to send you big hugs to help you get through this holiday season. It makes it so much harder knowing that you should have a little one to share your joy with....
I don't recognize your screen name...did you change it? I know almost everyone on May, I still lurk there sometimes.
I think we all have times where we come to these boards and cry. I find it therapeutic most times. Let DH know that you are not alone many of us cry when we are on here but for most women I think that helps. We grieve differently then men.
As you probably concluded from lurking here many of us would like to skip Christmas this year.
I am so sorry to hear about your son. Did you name him? Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Although it is under sad circumstances i am glad you came out of lurkdom. This board is a great source of support to man women.
Mum to... Zane. Delivered by c-section at 41 weeks. Died due to Vasa Praevia. 16-17 October 2006 Ada. Delivered by c-section at 25 weeks. Her heart just stopped. No explanation. 7 September 2007
Co-Host of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support.