I had my d&c late last night. Physically I am doing ok, emotionally... not sure how I am going to deal with this. I have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow and am expecting a call from the "Early Loss" team that our hospital has. Need to call my OB to book an appointment for 6 weeks time.
I am needing to find ways to deal with Sean and Robbie. With previous losses it was always so early.
Last edited by mom2robbie; 04-03-2011 at 11:19 PM.
Good for you that you are reaching out to get help. I am not sure how old your boys are, but mine at 6 & 4. I lost my dad (Papa) in November. My therapist told me to tell them the truth but keep it simple. My dad had dementia and the boys know he went to Heaven. My oldest asked a lot of questions at first, and I answered them as best I could. He had some good ones too! It is ok for your kids to see you sad and cry too, it helps them deal with grief to know you are dealing with it. I did make sure we told both boys that my dad was sick and that nothing was going to happen to mommy, daddy, or grandma. I know it is not the same, but maybe you can use some of the same concepts to your loss.
Hang in there.
Met up with my first pregnant woman since the D&C... I held it together! I was surprised. Friday, when I was at my OB's office I lost it when I kept hearing baby's heartbeats. I have had lots of calls/emails etc from friends checking up on me.
I am not eating. I am trying to eat but I am not hungry. So far I have almost finished one meal and most meals I don't even eat 1/2 of it.
Sean is going back to school tomorrow - final exams and grad are coming up in the next two weeks... I think I might go back to work on thursday - I need the routine and I think it will be better then staying at home.
I got some books today from the library on miscarriage. I am hoping they will help me process things. I think I am still in shock....
I did too much today...too much walking and contractions hit big time! That and heavier bleeding. I need to take things easier.
I'm glad you're going to be getting to talk with someone. Miscarriage can be such a difficult thing to go through. After my first miscarriage, getting back to work was actually really helpful in feeling like even after a huge loss, I was getting my life back a little bit.
Last edited by missy8632; 04-07-2011 at 08:47 PM.
Reason: remove siggy
First all, I want to say that I am using my thread as a journal through my feelings.
Why do some people feel the need to "one-up" your pain. I know that I am not the only woman to have a baby die. I know other woman have been farther along then I was. This was my baby and I am in pain. I am in no way trying to take away from other's pain so why do they try to do that to me?
Today my daycare lady went on about the baby she lost at 5 months, reminding me that I was only 3 months. Yes, it must hurt terribly to have a baby die when you have felt it kicking but just because I did not feel the baby does not mean my pain is any less.
I talked to a lady from church yesterday. When I said that it was still early when the baby died she told me that it did not matter how early the pregnancy was. It was still my baby, I still had hopes and dreams for the baby and was entitled to feeling pain. I felt a little hope after talking with her. She talked about losing a baby at 17 weeks and how today (30 years later) she still thinks of that little one.
Tonight I needed Sean to hold me for a while. We talked about how much we loved one another and I cried. I apologized for crying and Sean asked why I would apologize when I needed to cry. He is such a sweet husband. Today he returned to school and had to tell fellow students why he had been off/how he was feeling. One of the guys came up to him several hours later saying "OMG, I just found out what a miscarriage is." Poor guy.
Sean heard from one of his instructors that the company he interviewed for yesterday called about references! Even though the job is on the far west side of the city (we live south-east), it would be an awesome job! We are hopeful that he is offered the position. Working one-on-one with an engineer who wants to teach "all that he knows", plus they want to send Sean to a bunch of courses.
Today it has been one week since we found out that the baby died. What a week! I never want to go through this again.
Today is my niece, Matty's birthday, and she got to be an auntie again today. Lili Johanna was born today. In some ways I am sad as I wont be having a baby in 6 months but I am excited for my niece and her husband as well. Such conflicting thoughts.