It has only been 2 weeks and 6 days since I lost my precious girls. Tonight has been so hard. So many things that just keep knocking the wind out of me. Little stupid things, like the wicked heartburn I am having, the box of different things that my oldest used to set on my belly to watch fall off as soon as they would move around.
I washed sheets today again, and some how missed a pillow case last time because when I picked the pillow up out fell the journal I had started with so many of the feelings I had written down when I first found out it was twins, how much in love i was with the two already, yet so stressed and wondered if I could handle it. I complained about where I was going to put them as we have no room. sad I never kept up with that journal,such a break between that jornal and I started journaling later on my blog
I feel so lonely tonight, so empty feeling. I have a headache from crying so long:(
my girls are sleeping, most of the ppl I used to talk to online don't talk to me much anymore as most don't know what to say to me. The select few that do i am so thankful I have but nights are the hardest on me. and tonight it feels like the walls are closing in on me and if I move they are going to overpower me and I wont ever be able to get out.
hope this makes sense im a mess right now