I delivered my beautiful Rebecca June 18 2007. On October 9th 2008 I had a d/e because of a blighted ovum. Lately, almost every night I am having some sort of horrible dream. My husband and I only have enough money left for 1 more IVF and I am scared to death that it wont work. I am waiting until January to try again because of all my mental issues right now.
Anyway I have had several dreams were my husband leaves me because I can't have children. He finds someone who can. Very upsetting. I have already had that conversation about will the two of us be enough. He says having children is not the be all, that he loves me no matter what. Knowing this should help but I still have the dreams.
The horrible one last night was about two miscarriages in a row. The first miscarraige happened at a specialized hospital for high risk pregnancy's. Anyway I was in bed, bleeding when the doctors did an ultrasound. They said everything was fine. I continued to bleed for days when I needed a transfusion, the fetus was still ok. The heartbeat was low. I believe I was 8 weeks along. For approx 3 weeks I continued to bleed needing several transfusions. I ended up in labor and the babies cord wrapped around their head and killed them I needed a d/c. Not being able to hold me little one. I was so weak from the blood lost that I stayed for 1 month, meantime my husband moved out of our house to some young girls place.
The second dream was that I was on bedrest. I was further along in the pregnancy then I ever was in real life, I believe 25-30weeks. I began to go into labor and could not get a hold of anyone. Emergency would not pick up the phone. For hours I was in labor alone and delivered a baby of normal size but still born. I held this baby for hours until my husband came home. He screamed at me for lossing another baby and told me a was worthless.
I know my husband would never do anything like this. I wish I did not have these dreams. I am seeing my therapist this week and hopefully will be able to work out these feelings. Needless to say I awoke in a sweat this morning shaking.
Thanks for listening.