having horrible dreams- (M/C & TTC ment.)

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having horrible dreams- (M/C & TTC ment.)

I delivered my beautiful Rebecca June 18 2007. On October 9th 2008 I had a d/e because of a blighted ovum. Lately, almost every night I am having some sort of horrible dream. My husband and I only have enough money left for 1 more IVF and I am scared to death that it wont work. I am waiting until January to try again because of all my mental issues right now.
Anyway I have had several dreams were my husband leaves me because I can't have children. He finds someone who can. Very upsetting. I have already had that conversation about will the two of us be enough. He says having children is not the be all, that he loves me no matter what. Knowing this should help but I still have the dreams.

The horrible one last night was about two miscarriages in a row. The first miscarraige happened at a specialized hospital for high risk pregnancy's. Anyway I was in bed, bleeding when the doctors did an ultrasound. They said everything was fine. I continued to bleed for days when I needed a transfusion, the fetus was still ok. The heartbeat was low. I believe I was 8 weeks along. For approx 3 weeks I continued to bleed needing several transfusions. I ended up in labor and the babies cord wrapped around their head and killed them I needed a d/c. Not being able to hold me little one. I was so weak from the blood lost that I stayed for 1 month, meantime my husband moved out of our house to some young girls place.
The second dream was that I was on bedrest. I was further along in the pregnancy then I ever was in real life, I believe 25-30weeks. I began to go into labor and could not get a hold of anyone. Emergency would not pick up the phone. For hours I was in labor alone and delivered a baby of normal size but still born. I held this baby for hours until my husband came home. He screamed at me for lossing another baby and told me a was worthless.

I know my husband would never do anything like this. I wish I did not have these dreams. I am seeing my therapist this week and hopefully will be able to work out these feelings. Needless to say I awoke in a sweat this morning shaking.

Thanks for listening.
Robin

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I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time! Bad dreams are the worst, but hopefully it is just your psyche working through all of your unspoken fears. I hope your therapist helps and you can get a well-deserved good night's sleep.

Andrea

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:bigarmhug: There are no words that are adequate. :bigarmhug:

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(TTC & Child ment)

I'm sorry for your loss. Your story is a lot like mine. We went through 3 rounds of injectables and then the fourth one failed, insurance would not cover any more.
We had to choose Adoption or IVF. We chose to adopt our son from Korea.
I understand the pressure and the need to have a baby, it can eat you alive if you let it.
Have you seen a therapist? I only ask as it is possible to suffer from PPD or PTSD after a m/c. The dreams are normal after a loss.
Have you sat down an told your DH your feelings? I know I hard the same feelings and fears after some of my losses. PM me if you want to chat.

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oh Robin, huge hugs! Those sound like horrible dreams. I hope your therapist is of help this week for you. :bigarmhug:

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Dear Robin,

I'm so sorry you're having such terrible nightmares. I'm glad you've written to tell us about them, and that you're working them through with your therapist.

I don't know much about nightmares and their interpretation, but I can say that the nightmares I have always seem to reflect one of my fears. I've heard that nightmares are a way for the mind to process our fears 'safely' -- I guess they need release ??? -- but boy, they sure don't feel 'safe' at the time. They feel terrible.

I'll ask my mother in law about this, to find out more for you -- she's an internationally renowned clinical psychologist.

In the meantime, know that we care about you here, and that we'll do whatever we can to help you through this.

Great big bear hugs,
Nicole

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Im so sorry that you have been having these bad dreams, how horrible. I hope that you know that your dh would have to be a real jerk to do something like that, and I dont think he is. I hope that you are able to get things out soon. Lots of hugs!

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Robin,
Those dreams are very detailed. I can imagine how scared you must have been when you woke up. I had horrible dreams right after I delivered my twin boys; I dreamt one or both of them survived, or one lived longer than he actually did. I took Ambien to help me sleep, and I did not have the dreams when I was on Ambien. You might think about asking your doctor for a prescription to help you sleep a few nights without dreaming. I'm glad you're seeing your therapist this week to help you sort through your dreams. I can totally relate, having gone through IVF myself and then losing my boys at 21 weeks. I'm thinking of you!! PM me if you need to talk.

Sara

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I am so sorry Robin. I feel so sad because I haven't been on the boards for a bit and am only hearing of your loss now. I am so sorry. My heart hurts with you.
I have these thoughts sometimes and have even said to my husband that if he only had married someone else he would have kids by now. It is so hard. Hang in there girl. You are such a strong woman and you will get through this.