Hello everyone. I had another miscarriage in August. The baby's heart just stopped beating. The chromosome test came back and it was a boy. He had an extra strand of 10 chromosome so their was no way he was going to survive.
I am having a really hard time with this lost. I think it is harder this time because it was a natural pregnancy. I was never able to get pregnant on my own before they were all IVF babies. It is also harder this time because I am 35 and I think my body is done trying for a baby. Adoption is way to expensive and my heart breaks every time I think that I will not have a living child.
I have to pretend to be strong because my husband, although understanding, can't bare to see me hurt the way that I am. My friends don't get it and my family and I aren't very close. I feel so alone this time. When I lost my daugher at 16 weeks gestation everyone knew I was pregnant and were with me when I went into preterm labor and to the hospital. But this time I was only 7 weeks and we told no one. After my loss and D/C I told a few people but it hurts that many just shrug it off.
I am hurting and I am sad. I feel stuck and I know that it is a process, I just want to heal already and move on.