having a tough time

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pink_panther's picture
Joined: 03/18/08
Posts: 7
having a tough time

Hello all....

I'm finding it so hard dealing with my feelings right now. Its been 2 months since I had to say goodbye to my baby, my first baby, who went to heaven on November 7th at 12 weeks, 2 months since my world came crashing down around me. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life and i feel its all been taken away from me.

When I got pregnant I thought that was it - my life was complete - I felt so much love and felt so protective of this little life growing inside me that I could not imagine my world without him/her...and now I feel so empty like I'm missing a part of me and I'm so sad because the part I am missing I will never get back... Everyone says that I will have another baby and that I will love that baby just as much but right now I'm finding that so hard to imagine.....right now I just want my baby that I saw on the ultrasound screen - I want my baby that I saw grow inside me....I want my baby that I love so much and miss every day that I had so many dreams for. I wonder if the pain will ever get easier....I'm sorry for rambling on but I just felt I needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks for reading x

Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 105

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost our baby on Nov. 13 at 10 1/2 weeks. This was also our first baby. We have been TTC for almost 4 years so it was a miracle that I got pg. I understand how you feel because I have similar feelings of sadness, disappointment, and shattered dreams. I also feel like a part of me is missing and I think it always will be. Please allow yourself to grieve in the way that is best for you and take as much time as you need. If you want, come join us on the Trying to Conceive After a Loss Board. Not everyone there is TTC yet but it is a wonderful and supportive group of women!

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs hon. I am so very sorry for your loss. My two miscarriages carried the worst emotional pain I have experienced, and even 6 mo after the latest I still hurt almost daily. I do not want to hear that I will have more (I know,or at least hope that). No one would ever say to a recent widow, "its okay dear, you'll have another husband" because that would be tacky, but somehow ppl think it is a comforting statement. Hugs! And come join us over at ttcal (trying to conceive after a loss) when you feel comfortable, whether you are actively trying or not.

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

:bigarmhug: I am two years from my loss and it still hurts. But it's easier than when it first happened, and I'm sure years from now, it will be easier still.

We can't replace the children we lost. We'll always be missing them, even if we have children after our losses. There's still a gap where they are suppose to be.

Janel