Well folks, unfortunately I'm back again. I went in for a 10 week checkup yesterday and all was not well.
Thankfully, I had an appointment yesterday, because I had decided to switch doctors. I was disappointed with the practice I was at. I was seen last week, and that was the last straw. They were callous, and I felt like I was part of a cattle call. It was just the kind of place you don't want to be. Well, they didn't hear the heartbeat with the doppler at that appointment, and told me not to worry, they'd hear it next time. Then, the doctor set me up for an appointment in a month. This is with a history of two miscarriages. No serial betas, in fact, he didn't do ANY betas. I just felt like something wasn't right, and so I made an appointment with a different doctor.
I had my appointment and right away you could tell it was like night and day. I had to wait longer at the new doctor, but took that as a good sign. It was. When I was called to the back, they had an u/s machine ready to go. I was really excited to see the little one and check on how things were going. He went through my medical history and the whole deal and then started the u/s.
Unfortunately, though, the u/s was yet another disappointing one. There was no fetal activity, barely (if any) fetus. (I don't believe it was a blighted ovum as the doctor thinks, because we did see a heartbeat & fetal pole at 6 weeks at the previous practice). The doctor seemed genuinely sad to see what we were seeing on the u/s. He tried so hard to find something, but finally we realized there wasn't anything to see. I know what an u/s from 10 weeks should look like, and this definitely was not it. He was very sympathetic, and set me up to have a 2nd u/s to confirm the miscarriage at the hospital. I had that done, and the m/c was confirmed. This morning, he called and they added me to his surgical schedule. (He's having surgery of his own on Thursday, so I was grateful he could get me in.)
I went to the hospital, and the staff was amazing. Thankfully, with the new doctor came a new hospital. The hospital I had to deal with previously was a nightmare. When I miscarried there in March, they were cold and harsh, and uncaring. I was in the waiting area for thirteen hours with nothing to eat, drink and no medication at all. Not even a Tylenol. I ended up with a migraine to top everything off. Needless to say, it was devastating, physically and mentally.
Anyway, the nursing staff today were outstanding. You could tell that they genuinely cared about what was going on, and went out of their way to make me comfortable. What a wonderful group of nurses. I'm definitely going to send them a card, and some chocolates, if I can.
I had the D&C, and was in the OR for about 30 minutes. They are sending the 'products of conception' a.k.a. our baby for testing. The procedure went well, and I was released pretty quickly afterwards. It was so much more bearable than miscarrying naturally.
So, unfortunately, that leaves me where I am today. I am now at the point where I've had three miscarriages. I'm wondering does anyone know of women who've had three miscarriages with the same partner and gone on later to conceive a healthy child/pregnancy? It's just soooooo devastating to go through this time and again, each time thinking positive, only to have those hopes dashed. I just don't know if I can keep doing it. I know I'm not ready to TTC for a while. I need a break mentally and physically, but I am just wondering if we even have a chance anymore.
Any thoughts and information would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so disturbed that this may be 'it' for us. I'm also petrified of if/when we do conceive again. I am going to be a nightmare of worries (more than I already was)!
Thanks in advance (and thanks for reading the long, convoluted message)!
edited by uropachild to remove signature