Hello again. Anyone else with 3+ m/c? (m/c - long)
Well folks, unfortunately I'm back again. I went in for a 10 week checkup yesterday and all was not well.
Thankfully, I had an appointment yesterday, because I had decided to switch doctors. I was disappointed with the practice I was at. I was seen last week, and that was the last straw. They were callous, and I felt like I was part of a cattle call. It was just the kind of place you don't want to be. Well, they didn't hear the heartbeat with the doppler at that appointment, and told me not to worry, they'd hear it next time. Then, the doctor set me up for an appointment in a month. This is with a history of two miscarriages. No serial betas, in fact, he didn't do ANY betas. I just felt like something wasn't right, and so I made an appointment with a different doctor.
I had my appointment and right away you could tell it was like night and day. I had to wait longer at the new doctor, but took that as a good sign. It was. When I was called to the back, they had an u/s machine ready to go. I was really excited to see the little one and check on how things were going. He went through my medical history and the whole deal and then started the u/s.
Unfortunately, though, the u/s was yet another disappointing one. There was no fetal activity, barely (if any) fetus. (I don't believe it was a blighted ovum as the doctor thinks, because we did see a heartbeat & fetal pole at 6 weeks at the previous practice). The doctor seemed genuinely sad to see what we were seeing on the u/s. He tried so hard to find something, but finally we realized there wasn't anything to see. I know what an u/s from 10 weeks should look like, and this definitely was not it. He was very sympathetic, and set me up to have a 2nd u/s to confirm the miscarriage at the hospital. I had that done, and the m/c was confirmed. This morning, he called and they added me to his surgical schedule. (He's having surgery of his own on Thursday, so I was grateful he could get me in.)
I went to the hospital, and the staff was amazing. Thankfully, with the new doctor came a new hospital. The hospital I had to deal with previously was a nightmare. When I miscarried there in March, they were cold and harsh, and uncaring. I was in the waiting area for thirteen hours with nothing to eat, drink and no medication at all. Not even a Tylenol. I ended up with a migraine to top everything off. Needless to say, it was devastating, physically and mentally.
Anyway, the nursing staff today were outstanding. You could tell that they genuinely cared about what was going on, and went out of their way to make me comfortable. What a wonderful group of nurses. I'm definitely going to send them a card, and some chocolates, if I can.
I had the D&C, and was in the OR for about 30 minutes. They are sending the 'products of conception' a.k.a. our baby for testing. The procedure went well, and I was released pretty quickly afterwards. It was so much more bearable than miscarrying naturally.
So, unfortunately, that leaves me where I am today. I am now at the point where I've had three miscarriages. I'm wondering does anyone know of women who've had three miscarriages with the same partner and gone on later to conceive a healthy child/pregnancy? It's just soooooo devastating to go through this time and again, each time thinking positive, only to have those hopes dashed. I just don't know if I can keep doing it. I know I'm not ready to TTC for a while. I need a break mentally and physically, but I am just wondering if we even have a chance anymore.
Any thoughts and information would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so disturbed that this may be 'it' for us. I'm also petrified of if/when we do conceive again. I am going to be a nightmare of worries (more than I already was)!
Thanks in advance (and thanks for reading the long, convoluted message)!
Moderator of the pregnancy and infant loss support board
I am so, so, sorry
Sounds like night and day...your new doc vs your old. I am so glad you are with caring people during this time...
I can't remember the name of the persons that have had 3 or so losses with the same partner. But I can tell you I remember some of them went on to have a baby. Hoping one of the other ladies will remember..
I know your fears well....I, like you, can get preg....The problem is, it has always ended in loss .. I am really hoping there is an end to constantly losing babies...as I hope there is one for you..
This board is so wonderful....I know you will find the same great support I have found here..
First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. I personally know what it is like to have 3 losses. I had one successful pregnancy over 3 years ago with my daughter. However, in the past year and a half I have had 3 miscarriages - at 8, 6 and 12 weeks. I have heard many stories of ladies who have had successful pregnancies after 3 losses so I'm holding out hope for us both.
Although I don't have any answers I can tell you some about the testing I've been through. I had some basic bloodwork after my second loss and they thought I had a blood clotting disorder. After the 3rd my dr. sent me to a perinatologist who did extensive bloodwork for chromosone abnormalities, hormonal and autoimmune problems. All of those tests were normal. I had a HSG test just yesterday and it was normal too. At this point we are not certain of what steps we will take next. My last miscarriage was in March and I don't feel I'm ready to start trying again yet.
My only suggestion would be to insist that you receive testing in these four areas as soon as you feel up to it (if you haven't done so already). Even though I still don't have any answers to why I've had my miscarriages, it has been beneficial to me knowing that I've at least tried to find the answer.
CEMOMMY~ Thank you for taking the time to post that! I'm noting the different testing that you mentioned, and will bring in a list when I go to see my doctor, and see what he thinks is necessary. I really appreciate the post. Can I ask a somewhat personal question? If you don't feel comfortable answering on here, you can PM or Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org). Have all of your pregnancies been with the same partner? (Miscarriages, and healthy pregnancy?) I am sure you know, they always ask that. As far as I know, I've only been pregnant via my husband, so that worries me.
BLP (sorry, my brain can't remember your name at the moment)~ I'm so sad that we had to meet again in this spot. I am so sad for you as well. I hope that you are feeling OK. I will be praying for you.
i'm so sorry about your loss, this and the previous.
as for your question, all I know from my familys experience is that my mom had about 10 miscarriages and had me and my sister. we are 8 years apart and I know many of the miscarriages were after me. So dont give up hope. Oh and they were all with my dad.
All of my pregnancies have had the same father. My perinatologist said that we could do testing on my husband but that he felt that was probably not the problem since I did have one successful pregnancy. At this point we haven't decided whether he will have any testing done, but are seriously considering it even though the doctor didn't feel it was necessary.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.