Today is the first anniversary of Damien's having been born into the arms of God.
A friend found the following passage in a book about meditation. It really spoke to me and I felt like I had to share.
When a Dark Memory Returns...
Don't fight it.
Permit the intrusion without regret.
Let the memory or old feeling have it's way with you.
The sadness of a lost love, a rebuke or betrayal, or a hurt that cut deeply left you wounded. It returns, takes your breath away, gives you pause.
Measure the depth of the hurt, but from the safe distance time provides.
Know that because the hurt is past, the resentment will cool.
Don't push the painful feeling or memory away.
If you let it through without resisting it, it will pass.
Push it away and it will build, seeking the expression it needs to relieve the old pressure.
That is the way of old pain, pressing to the surface till it fades. Old pain comes in waves.
How can you stop a wave?
Ride the reappearance of your old emotions, but don't try to hold them back. You'll use up your energy, lose faith in yourself, doubt your strength and wholeness, and ruin your day.
Let the old hurt pass, acknowledging all that it means, and in that moment it will be gone. The hurt is diminished, and so is the likelihood of return.
The moment is returned to you.
I allow memories to return and have their way.
I let the past replay but do not live in it.
I let old feelings flow through me on their way to peace.
I accept all that I was, all that has been.
I accept all of it-all of me.