Hi everyone. My name is Stefanie. We went in for our Sono on Friday at 9 weeks and baby was measuring right on track but didn't have a heartbeat. They are guessing baby died Wed/Thurs. I have a D&C tomorrow. I am very nervous about it, I have never been put under or had any sort of surgical procedure done.
We have a 4.5 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. They were both excited for a baby but Eathan understood it alot better. He told everyone he was having a baby brother and was insistent it was a boy. He would kiss my tummy and every week we would read about what was developing on the baby and what it looked like now. When we told him he got very sad and said he really wanted a baby brother. We have decided not to have any more kids. I really want to help him understand and deal with this whole thing. He is a very sensitive kid.
Last edited by Eathan'smommy; 07-12-2010 at 08:29 AM.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard kids as we do not understand, what do we tell them?
In a different ballpark, I had my son in counseling when he was three and I left my abusive husband.
The therapist said never lie to kids, they have a great memory. Instead tell them the truth in simple terms that they can understand. Tell him it is ok to be sad, angry, or confused, as mommy and daddy feel that way too. The biggest issue I was told with kids at that age is to let them know it was not their fault. Nothing they did or did not do caused this. Also let them know they are safe and if they have any question, not to be afraid to ask. I hope that helps.
Hi Stephanie....Its been a long time since I've posted here...I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss ((hugs)) ..
As far as your son goes. I like Missy's suggestions... I might add more, but that all would depend on what your religious beliefs, if any are.....
How are you? I've had 9 losses (I have two living babies, 10 month old and 30 month old) ..I've had 4 D&C's...I wish I would have come to visit this board sooner so I could have tried to help you in some way. I'm hoping you are doing as good as you can be, given your loss and procedure... Check in when you get the chance hun...
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the d/c went as well as it could. There is a book called We were going to have a baby but we had an angel instead. It is a good book to read to your little boy during this difficult time.
I hope you are doing better. I have had several miscarriages and no living children. I think you are blessed to have the two children you have and hope in time you find peace.
Last edited by missy8632; 08-03-2010 at 08:34 PM.
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