Her birthday is coming up

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tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
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Her birthday is coming up

My little angel's first birthday is coming up. Things are getting harder and harder. It is on my mind everyday. I don't know what I am going to do. Its been 8 1/2 months since she passed and I am finally ready to move out of my apartment where she called home. Its been rough and trying. I am sad to move but know for mine and my dd's sake (who is 2 and talking about how shes going to die) I need to move. I am just wondering for those of you who lost a baby and celebrated their birthday how hard was it? What did you do for them? How did you cope? I want to lay down and cry and wake up and have 3 babies next to me. Please help!

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Me again...I am so sorry you have had to suffer such a loss Sad ....I know many women will come and offer ways to get through your angel's first birthday....A few thoughts that come to my mind is 1. Purchase her a card...and write her a letter 2. Is there a special place that reminds you of her?? go there 4. purchase something for her...something you can wear to remember her by....5. A cupcake with a candle, in honor of your daughter 6. If all you want to do is just stay in your room all day, curled up in a ball...remembering your daughter on her birthday...do it... :comfort:

Marie

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I am so sorry you have to spend your daughters birthday with her not here. I havent gone through Zanes birthday yet, which is on 16th October, but i think about it often.

I think that we will go to the crematorium where he was taken and spend some timein the garden. His ashes were sprinkled there, although we didnt get a marker. I also thought about buying a card for him and writing a message and having it up. I'd then put the card in his memory box.

Some other ideas are releasing a balloon or lighting a candle.

I am sure that whatever you decide to do you will do it with her on your mind and that is the most important thing of all. Spending time thinking of her and remembering the time you had.

tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
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We were thinking of visiting her and releasing a balloon. I also buy her a card every holiday and for sure will on her birthday too. I am unsure of what else we are going to do. I just feel so lost.

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I just wanted to share with you what we did for what would have been our son Cayman's 1st birthday July 22, 2006. Cayman lived for 10 days an undiagnosed congenital heart defect claimed his life suddenly.

We put a memorial piece with his picture in the paper on his birthday to wish him happy birthday in heaven.
We made cupcakes and cut out cookies and hand decorated them with his initials, birthdate and other cute symbols.
(the cookie idea was my husband's-he took them to work in memory of Cayman)
We had our immediate familes over for cupcakes and punch and we went up to the cemetery and sang happy birthday
We also had bought live butterflies and released them at his grave on his birthday. Something I would like to do each year. It was magical.
I also made a video montage from pictures I had and sent it to friends and family-here it is if you want to see it:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=2ff3809fd2373d25d20eec&skin_id=1012&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
I too felt lost and pressured and not sure what to expect of myself. So I didn't plan too much on his birthday. I hope in years to come I am able to have a picnic or family bbq or something to celebrate Cayman's life. This year that would have been way to hard on me.
Whatever you decide will be right for you and your family. Please be gentle with yourself as it is a very painful but joyous time celebrating your baby girl's birthday.
Sending you love, comfort, strenght and peace,
Kelly

“What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us,”
-Helen Keller

www.caringbridge.org/visit/caymansinjin
http://tchin.org/portraits/cayman-1.htm