I'm back for some love.
I am almost 8 weeks pg, after my loss at 11 weeks this past August. I was diagnosed this morning, after some intense bleeding last night, with a subchorionic hematoma/hemmorhage. The M/W told me that all we can do is wait as see, but that most clear up.
Damn it all, I don't want to wait and see. I feel like I'm reliving August all over again...wait and see...bleed for weeks and just wait it out. I was a wreck last night...a raving maniac for poor DH yelling that I just can't do that again. I know that I will do what it takes to hold a baby in my arms and I know that my challenges aren't what some women face. But this diagnosis is a real emotional blockage to me.
I have good support in my family...my sis brought me flowers, my mom drove me to the clinic, my DH hugged me. But it all comes back to ME having to wait it out, knowing there's a baby in there that may or may not make it. I know, in my logical head, that it is the case regardless of the hematoma. I just hate bleeding.
So far, the bleeding has stopped since last night. It stopped about midmorning. I'm not sure if it's a large hematoma or a small one yet...still waiting for my m/w to go over the report.
It's just so discouraging. My first two pgs were so hasslefree and I thought that I could continue having easy pgs...this and the last one were so emotionally draining.
Thanks for letting me vent ladies. I really appreciate your listening ears.
All the best,