Man the Holidays are hard. I am trying so hard to be strong and to enjoy this season but the thoughts of my little Rebecca, born at 16 weeks, still lurks into my head. I miss being pregnant and I am so jealous at those that I know are pregnant. It hurts thinking about what I am missing. I hate that I torture myself lurking at the birth month boards. I think as I look, Oh that is how far along I was and man I wish I would have felt her kick and move. I also get angry at those complaining about their pregnancy symptoms. I WISH I had morning sickness and that my vajaja hurt.
I guess since the mourning process can take time I can chalk up all these feelings to "normal". Rebecca was born June18, 2007 so I guess I can still miss her and be jealous for what I never had. I just feel empty at times and I hate the jealousy and the heartache. I wish my daughter was here for Christmas. I know she is in the Best place ever in heaven but I miss her so much.
Thanks for reading my rant.