I went to see a new therapist today. I knew it would be tough but not that tough. I cried through the entire session. She probably thinks I should be committed or something. I had to give a history of my life. How I lost my mom at 12 and dad at 22 and daughter at 32. She believes that I am dealing pretty well considering all my losses. She also thinks my anxiety steams from the losses. She thinks I did not have a chance to mourn my mother and that the early birth/miscarriage of Rebecca in June just brought out the grieve of my mothers death again. After all who do you want after something horrible happens to you, even as an adult, your mommy. You understand the hormones and feeling that you get from having a child, your mommy.
I have a headache from crying most of the day but am hopeful that tomorrow will be better. At least I know that 7 months isn't too long to grieve and that every person takes their own time. She does think that I am moving into the acceptance phase. I guess that is good.
I am really a shy person deep inside so this site is great because I can talk about how I feel and know that you ladies won't judge me or think that I am crazy.
Well it actually sounds like a GOOD therapy session. It gave you a chance to talk through your feelings and it sounds like she is a very supportive person to have in your life. I hope you will be seeing her often. And remember, it is okay to cry. You are allowed to grieve all of your losses. I know what you mean about wanting your mommy. My mom passed away 3 years ago quite suddenly. Even at 30 it still hurts to lose your mom. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for you at 12. It seems the good and bad about becoming a mother brings out a lot of grief for me. I wish I had my mom to lean on for support and encouragement and to share in the joy too. Anyway, I know how you feel. Not completely, but enough to say hang in there. You are doing a great job working through this.
Robin-i could sense a smile in your message towards the end-i really hope the days ahead get easier for you. you have had it rough and you are doing a great job at getting help and working through everything. You will get through this all and hopefully there will be something wonderful that will come out of it all...just hang in there!
sounds like a pretty good session to me. Not that I'm an expert though, never been to a therapist... I wonder how well they'd think I was coping based on my loses...probably better than expected, considering I've lost nearly everyone I know.
I'm really glad you were able to express your feelings... I think it really helps just to have someone to talk to about everything, so its not all bottled up. I really hope that your therapist can help with your anxiety and that you get back to feeling more normal. I agree with Nicole, you really are starting to sound more optimistic already. I think the change in therapist is really going to help you... as well as time in general.
I also think it sounds like a good session. I think after getting a lot of the crying out today that tomorrow will be a better day. I find that after I cry like a crazy woman that I do in fact feel better and that I might even be able to go a little bit without wanting to cry every second.
That doesn't sound like a horrible therapy session to me. THat sounds like an extremely difficult one, but also very successful. I am glad to hear that you are moving to the acceptance phase, that is such a huge step. I am glad that you are going to counseling. I truly believe that the right counselor is invaluable. Keep up the good work.