I finally started back to work last week - slowly incrementing myself - 2 days last week - 3 this week and full time next week.
I was looking forward to today as I was off - when we found out that the son of one of our church members had died from his battle with cancer. I felt it important to go to the service as he took time away from his work and son to come to Sarah's. Which is 2 months today since we buried her.
I'm a little misty today when I realized that, but after the service I went and had my toes done. I hadn't had painted toe nails since last October. So it was really nice to get time away taking care of myself.
I really want to TTC - but having a hard time "reconnecting" with DH. I don't know what's holding me back.. guess it will just take time
HarleyGurl ~ enjoy the cruise...it sounds wonderful! We've been to Grand Cayman a few times - the StingRay city outing is really amazing if you get the chance!
Mohee ~ Montana is the best...we actually had to cancel our trip there this weekend b/c of the d&c last night Glad you got to enjoy the 'Last Best Place'
We're supposed to go to Idaho with some friends in a week and a half...they've been going through IVF with no luck as of yet, so think I can trust them to not make things worse In fact, am looking forward to getting away from reality for a little bit. DH is asking if I really want to go back to work (I work in a NICU), and I think I do...I love my job, but it is really hard to see what I see when we're going through this. Trying to decide when to go back...my first mc I took a week off, the second only 2 days...feeling like a longer break this time. How long did everyone else wait to return to work?
Kerina - how's the 'reconnecting' with your dh going? Any better?
Ashley - your trip is coming up pretty soon, isn't it? Hope you have fun I wish I could answer your question about when to return to work, but I work at home as a SAHM. No breaks for me, though my dh is sweet enough to give me a break from time to time. Come to think of it, I haven't had one in awhile, so I think I'll ask for one. Maybe next Saturday.
As for how I'm doing, it's been 16 days since my mc began and I'm still bleeding (though lightly). Hoping I'll be all cleared up by Thursday, which is my follow-up appt. On the emotional front, not doing too well the last couple of days. Been pretty weepy off and on, and it's been hard to see anything related to pg'cy or babies. I saw two babies today that were so adorable and I just wanted to go run and hide and cry my eyes out.
On a more positive note, I had a nice time with my dad and stepmom today. We met for lunch at Ruby Tuesday's. Then we came home and relaxed - dh and Hannah took naps and I got on the computer and had some down time. In a little bit we're going to meet a friend for dinner so that should be fun, too.
Yup, we leave Tuesday night. Things have been really back and forth for me...Thurs and Fri were terrible, terrible days...Saturday I had to pull it together for a BBQ we were hosting for my husband's birthday (which was today)...it was okay. We'd told family we didn't want to talk about things during the BBQ because we were trying to keep it together...but of course my father in law cornered me in the kitchen to ask if there was anything he could do...no, we asked you not to talk about it so we wouldn't lose it, but you did what we asked you not to do. ugh. But overall it wasn't too bad. Today we went to brunch for DH's birthday, and of course, got bombarded with young families. Not that I fault them, I just don't want to see happy new parents / babies right now...so evil of me, I know.
Looking forward to being away from everything for a few days. I'm thinking I'll go back to work when we get home from Idaho...but not really sure how it will go...been entertaining an escape fantasy of quitting my job and going to massage school
Ashley - Hugs to you I can relate to not wanting to see new parents/babies right now bigtime. I was okay up until a couple of days ago, and then it was like the grief really started to hit. Since then it's difficult to see new/young babies or pregnant women. It's not that you aren't happy for them, it's just painful.
I know...isn't it strange? It seems like whenever you feel like you can finally take a breath, there they are...pushing strollers, carrying around huge (or even tiny) baby bellies...argh. I mean, I am happy for my expecting friends...I just don't want to see them. Hearing from them is fine (as long as they don't make THOSE kind of comments!), but seeing them is just too too much. Surprisingly, my friends brought their 6mo to our BBQ and it was wonderful to hold him for a bit...he's such a sweet baby. Maybe it was easier because (and I know this is wrong of me) I know they lost a baby first and it was a really hard, scary pregnancy...I sort feel like they deserve such a happy and easy baby and maybe we'll get that lucky some day too...