How is everyone doing today??

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Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456
How is everyone doing today??

That goes for any lurkers who have suffered loss as well...

I know the first post can be especially hard. That said, if you are emotionally able...we would like to hear your story. :bighug:

Whether you are new to the board...Have come back, due to another loss...Or, have lurked and never posted...Please, check in and let me know how all of you are doing....Even if it's just one sentence saying, *you are getting through the day*....Or, *my name is so and so...I am here...But I just can't post about my loss yet*...

Your post can be as simple, or an complicated as you would like to make it.

Thinking of all of you :comfort:

Marie

Jennana1120's picture
Joined: 10/17/05
Posts: 40

I'm here and doing pretty well. I still dont think the loss has settled it, i am either still in denial or have accepted it. I am still trying to figure out which one it is.

2Denise1010's picture
Joined: 11/01/06
Posts: 53

*TTC ment*

I have been doing well. I think it helps that I am going to be TTC again starting in August so I feel hopeful about that. We also buried Jasmine's ashes several weeks ago at a tree we planted for her. I run by there a lot, but I don't cry as much as I used to.
Denise

Hannah502's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 66

I am still kind of numb today. I came back to work since I am having no symptons of m/c yet. I know that when I do I may want to take a couple days off so work is necessary right now. I really don't want to be here though. And, I planning to leave around 2:00 or 3:00 today. Wish I was in a financial way that I could take a few weeks off.

edited by uropachild to remove signature

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I'm here! Smile I'm doing okay. Just taking each day at a time still.

Thanks for checkng up on everyone Marie. Smile

BLP
Joined: 02/19/07
Posts: 47

I am doing well most of the time. Today there was a message on my voice mail from a very HAPPY maternity consultant, from the hospital where I was to deliver. She said she was calling regarding my December Delivery, she has some forms and paperwork to go over with me (registration paperwork I assume) I felt like I was being stabbed, I actually had to listen to the message twice!! Now I have to call her and let her know that there will be no December delivery for me... I had a D&C at her hospital, I wish they would have figured that out before they called. I mean, it's not like I called them. My doctors office must put there patients on some kind of list or something.

TTC Ment:
On a better note, got a + OPK and had pretty good timing this month. Waiting for my crosshairs. Hopefully this will be my month.

Take care everybody.
Bernice

OneLuckyLady's picture
Joined: 04/12/07
Posts: 129

I'm doing fairly well. I had a few bad days recently. I ran into a firend of my SIL and she said: 'Congratulations! I hear you are pregnant again!' There is just something about having to say that you miscarried that brings it all back. On the good side, the mother of a dear friend of mine bought me a beautiful forget me not necklace for my birthday. It has my birthstone on it as well as what the baby's birthstone would have been. I can't bring myself to wear it but it's ncie to know I have sometihng.

Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 28

I'm new here. I've been lurking for a while but just now registered so I could post. I miscarried three weeks ago at approx 11 weeks. I found out at my 9 week appointment that the baby had died at around 6 1/2 weeks. I'm here for support because it is taking me a while to work through the devastation of it all and I would also like to support others going through this because it can feel isolating, at least to me it has.

*children mentioned*
Some background - I went through many, many years of infertility and many treatments, etc. and finally gave up. We adopted a baby in '01 (my son is 6 now). Amazingly we conceived naturally a few years later and my second son is 2 1/2. I was 39 when I had him. We were very surprised when we learned I was pg again in May (I'm 41 now). We were surprised but happy. I'm not sure if we will 'try' again for another baby. It's hard for me not to want to after so many years of trying and now knowing that we still can conceive. Anyhow, that's my intro. Look forward to getting to know some of you.

Lynne

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Jennana1120 ~ maybe it is a little of both? I am glad all is okay with you...Day by day... :bighug:

2Denise1010 ~ I am glad you have gotten to the point of wanting to ttc again. August in right around the corner!! I am so hoping this next month will be the *one* for you....

Thinking of your little girl Jasmine ...

Hannah502 ~ Bonnie Sad I am so sorry you need to deal with work on top of everything else Sad .... If you deliver your little one at home naturally...will you consider testing?? My heart just breaks for you Sad

uropachild
~ Sarah....I am glad all is going well with you. I think about you and Vegas often. I read your post on the Dec 07 board regarding the mix up in appt. dates. I was so upset for you!!!! You are going through enough worries...

Praying this little one will not have the same problems Zane had :comfort:

BLP ~ Bernice....I am SO SORRY you had to endure that phone call from the hospital!!! Maybe a family member can call for you? This way, *you* don't have to go into details..

I am hoping this is your month!! Biggrin Please come back and update!

OneLuckyLady ~ I am so sorry you had to explain your loss....again Sad

Your mothers friend sounds like such a wonderful lady...very thoughtful. That said, I understand why you can't bring yourself to wear it...I am sure it is beautiful though..

mattsmom05 ~ Lynne.. :bighug: I am glad you decided to join us. As you already know, this is a wonderful place to come and heal, as all the women on this board, on different levels, can understand your pain..

I am so sorry for your loss....the infertility you have suffered with. I to, am older, 42. I have suffered with infertility in the sense that I just can't seem to carry a baby to term..

PREG-MENT:

after losing 9 little ones (no living children) I am now pregnant with number 10, and this one seems to be going very well. I have just entered the second trimester. I have NEVER gotten this far. I feel very hopeful that this little one will make it.

I hope my story may be helpful somehow. I know how hard it is...deciding whether or not to continue ttc. Know we are all here for you...and will help in anyway we can.

Marie

Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 2

im new today....and not having a good day...i was supposed to be 12 weeks today, but found out this morning in u/s that there is no heartbeat. Im scheduled for a d/c tomorrow and a nervous wreck. any support or words of encouragement are appreciated.
Tiffany

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

"nursetiffany" wrote:

im new today....and not having a good day...i was supposed to be 12 weeks today, but found out this morning in u/s that there is no heartbeat. Im scheduled for a d/c tomorrow and a nervous wreck. any support or words of encouragement are appreciated.
Tiffany

Tiffany :cry: I am so sorry your baby has passed on Sad The next day is going to be very hard for you...So, try not to think further into the future then you need to..

Will they be putting you out completely?? If so, this is good. Also, I would ask them to give you something to relax you prior to the D&C...Your doctor must have all the paper work signed off though, prior to you going to the hospital. If he has done this, the anesth. will then give you something to help keep you calm..Once at the hospital, just make sure you let the nurse know that you would like to speak with the anesth. asap, as you would like medication, as you are extremely stressed/nervous.

When one has a D&C, the bleeding usually will last 3-10 days, 10 being on the more extreme side. The cramping afterwards can be minimal, or stronger then AF cramping. This all depends on how *your* body responds to the procedure. Make sure you are given strong pain meds, just in case you end up with the stronger cramping.

Also, you may want to ask if your hospital has a burial/service for all the babies that have passed on....A few ladies on this board in the past, have mentioned that their hospitals offered this program. And that they had decided to take part in it...

Something else you may want to think about...Do you know if your baby was a boy, or girl?? ...If this is something you do not know, and would like to know, I would discuss with the doc prior to the D&C.

There is so much more to say, that I know would be of help to you, as you work through your grief....But that can wait till after you get through the next 24 hours, and feel up to posting again.

The ladies on this board are all very supportive...I am so glad you decided to start posting :bighug:

I promise, as each day passes, and you work through your grief...learn to live with your loss....Your world will not be as black as it is right now.

If you can...please let us know how you are after your procedure tomorrow??

Know I will be thinking of you...I know the pain of loss all to well, as do the rest of the women on this board. My heart truly breaks for you :comfort:

Marie

Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 2
How am i doing today

Thanks Marie for the kind words....It means alot to know that so many people out there care. I just got home from my d/c and im not taking it too well. It was too early to know the sex of the baby, which im kind of glad. I dont know if I could have handled it. I had quite a bit of cramping afterwards and they gave me some strong pain meds. My DH is so wonderful as well as his family..I live in baltimore and my family is in NC. My mom is on her way as i write this. I feel like im falling apart. I know it wasnt my fault, but i cant help but to feel guilty. Again, thanks for the kind words of support and keep me and my DH in your thoughts and prayers.
God Bless,
Tiffany

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Tiffany..

I am glad you are back, and physically, doing okay. I hope your mom gets there soon. Mom's hugs are always so comforting..

The guilt you are feeling is normal....That said, I am glad you realize there is nothing you did wrong, and that there is nothing you could have done, to prevent your loss from happening :comfort:

Tiffany, I know it feels as if your world is crashing in on you. Know that as well as your wonderful family being there for you, we will be here for you.....Just take one day at a time..

Know that I will pray for you, and your dh :bighug:

Marie

nummynoo's picture
Joined: 02/18/09
Posts: 20

I am having a bad day today. I have finished Harry Potter which was a great relief. I was due to have my dating scan this morning so I am feeling really empty.

I know exactly what you mean about telling people you m\c, just saying the words brings a lump to my throat. My bleeding is finally slowing so at least I feel less grotty. I look terrible though. Need to keep eating my greens.

I hate seeing pregnant women. and I thought that feeling had left for good last November

:cry:

Hannah502's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 66

Thanks Marie for just checking in with us and your kind words. I do plan to have testing done when I m/c naturally. Still debating whether to plan a d&c instead. Either way, I will have testing.

I agree about not wanting to tell people that I am going to m/c as well. It just brings up so much emotional pain. For some reason, I really don't want to talk about this with family (excluding my dh of course-he is going through this with me and is a great support). But, today I found that when both mom's asked about me I closed up and didn't want to talk about it with them. I don't mean to be rude, but I think I just want the space right now. I beleive there may be days to come that I will talk with them, but not right now. The only one I really want to talk to is my dh and of course share here. Is that so wrong?

Joined: 07/25/07
Posts: 1
Our Loss

My husband and I lost our first on 7/13/07. He was 22wks and perfect. One minute I was fine and the next I was having contractions and on my way to L&D. I gave birth to him at 7:21 pm. He was alive all the way until my water broke. He was with us for about six hours - which were the best and worst six hours of my life.

Please anyone share with me how to get through this. I don't know how.

-B

Hannah502's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 66

gavin01; I am so sorry for your loss and what you are going through right now. Sad All of my losses were very eary so I can not relate to yours exactly. You and your dh need to take time to grieve and hang on to each other through this. This will take time, but allow yourself the time. Continue to post here anytime you feel like it, to vent and share. The ladies here are wonderful and are very supportive.

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456
Re: Our Loss

"gavin01" wrote:

My husband and I lost our first on 7/13/07. He was 22wks and perfect. One minute I was fine and the next I was having contractions and on my way to L&D. I gave birth to him at 7:21 pm. He was alive all the way until my water broke. He was with us for about six hours - which were the best and worst six hours of my life.

Please anyone share with me how to get through this. I don't know how.

-B

I am so sorry for the loss of your son Sad ...

There are many women that are/have been apart of our board, that can relate to a later loss. I am sure they will come and post as well :comfort:

We have many resources under the title of Pregnancy & Infant Loss websites. Just scroll down on the link below..

http://www.pregnancy.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=613880

I also think journaling would help tremendously..Just something to consider..

B....Take one day at a time. Your emotions will be all over the place over the next several months...Know that you won't be alone. We are all here for you...Post as much as you need to....Your post does not even have to make sense!! Just post!! We will all help you to get through the day at hand.

:bighug:

Marie

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Clare....I am glad your bleeding is slowing down....I am sorry your are having to deal with explaining your loss as well Sad ...And seeing pregnant women Sad I know all to well how that feels. It seems as if they are everywhere, when ones loss is so fresh... :comfort:

Marie

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Bonnie....I SO understand not wanting to talk with family about your loss. My family knows about NONE of my losses...So, I more then understand..

The only one I feel comfortable with is dh, and you ladies...So, from my pov...you are not wrong at all!

I am sorry you are having such a tough time deciding between a natural loss, and a D&C Sad ...And I fully support you in getting the testing done....

As a result, my hope for you is that you get an answer, as to what may have caused this latest loss :comfort:

Marie

Joined: 11/20/03
Posts: 15

gavin01
Im so sorry for the loss of your precious son. The early days are so so tough. My son was born prematuraly at 24w in December and didnt make it through his first day. I remember in the first days after his death it was so hard to see a future, the grief was so all consuming it was hard enough to get through one day let alone think about the next one coming. I know it is hard to see now but the days do get a little easier to get through with time. Nothing we say is going to take away your pain but know you are not alone and you have the strength to make it through this devestating time.
Please feel free to talk about anything with us.

Kitrinkles's picture
Joined: 06/02/05
Posts: 44

I'm feeling really sad today...it just feels like everything that was stressful in my life prior to the miscarriage is magnified...things that I could've handled before seems insurmountable today. I fell into a bad depression following my first m.c. and I'm desperately trying not to let myself go there this time...even if I just have to pretend to be "normal" for awhile it's better than feeling so horribly depressed again. I'm thinking about finding a therapist to talk to before the new semester starts, not just about this but about coping with stress and anxiety in general. I don't understand my emotions right now. Some moments I feel OK and then there are moments like right now when I just think I'll never feel happy/normal again. Thanks for letting me get this out.
-Kit

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

"Kitrinkles" wrote:

I'm feeling really sad today...it just feels like everything that was stressful in my life prior to the miscarriage is magnified...things that I could've handled before seems insurmountable today. I fell into a bad depression following my first m.c. and I'm desperately trying not to let myself go there this time...even if I just have to pretend to be "normal" for awhile it's better than feeling so horribly depressed again. I'm thinking about finding a therapist to talk to before the new semester starts, not just about this but about coping with stress and anxiety in general. I don't understand my emotions right now. Some moments I feel OK and then there are moments like right now when I just think I'll never feel happy/normal again. Thanks for letting me get this out.
-Kit

I am so sorry :bighug: I think seeing a therapist may be a good idea....Do you already have one in mind?? Someone you have used in the past?? If not, could you get a referral from a friend/family member??

Thinking of you....

Marie