How is everyone feeling?

31 posts / 0 new
Last post
Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176
How is everyone feeling?

I know i havent been post here as much as i used to do, but that is because my grief is moving on i guess. It is good to come back and check up on everyone though, and i do read your posts regularly.

So how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Do you feel like you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

Sarah, www.sarah-chambers.co.uk
Co-Host of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

DS Zane born at 41.5 weeks by c-section.
Lost as a result of Vasa Praevia at one day old.
16 - 17 October 2006.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am feeling awful. It has been almost 2 years since we lost Rocco.

I feel like I will never have another baby and I feel like everyone will have 2 before I have another.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I finally got enough nerve to read Tessas online obit and the posts on the guestbook. It was incredible. I cried....I miss her so.
Lisa

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Isabella ~ I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I know that there is nothing i can say to make it better at all, but please know that you can come here and vent whenever you feel like it.

Lisanne ~ That's so good that you finally read the guestbook. Little milestones like this mean that you are healing, slowly. You cried, but you will always cry. You miss her, but you will always miss her. You are making headway in your grief and that is a good thing. Smile

:bighug:

2Denise1010's picture
Joined: 11/01/06
Posts: 53

It has been since 10/06 when my baby Jasmine passed away. I still feel sad about it. We are goinig to bury her ashes at a memorial tree that we planted for here next week.

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Oh Denise! Your Jasmine has been gone as long as Zane has. :bighug:

I think burying her ashes at a memorial tree is such a wonderful idea. I think trees are a great memorial because they grow. It's like something is growing even though our baby's didn't get to. Smile

Geohde's picture
Joined: 12/03/06
Posts: 312

I'm feeling pretty average. Last 3 clomid cycles have bombed horribly.

My RE is making the 'we should move on now' noises.

My lil Clomid miracle is not going to be repeated, sadly. Sad

SparkleMomma's picture
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Absolutley horrible, but really, thankyou for asking & I sure hope everyone else is able to find at least a little light.

I need to go & may be MIA for a bit I need to find me again Sad

Diane

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hugs to everyone!!

:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

((HUGS)) Diane

I still don't have access to your journal.

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Geohde ~ I'm so sorry Clomid isnt working for you yet. You can say that you want to try it for a while yet though can't you or is there a limit on how many cycles you can take it for?

Diane ~ :bighug: Sorry you're going through a rough patch. Taking time out to find yourself can be a great idea. I hope you start to feel better soon honey.

Geohde's picture
Joined: 12/03/06
Posts: 312

I've taken Clomid for 5 cycles, includuing the one I conceived. Max is usually 6. Sad

But to be honest it will be a relief in many ways to move on. I'm not ovulating well with it anyway, and of course there's the fact that my DH has some rather abnormal sperm which makes it pretty unlikely at the best of times.

Thank you for asking, I really appreciate it.

edited by uropachild to remove signature

:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

Forgot the siggy. Cringe. Sorry.........

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Geohde, that is the saddest blinkie I have ever seen. Sad

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Well honey, if it's a relief then maybe it is time to move on you know? Smile I hope that whatever direction you chose to take next will lead you to that healthy baby you get for keeps. :giveflower:

Joined: 03/08/06
Posts: 183

I don't post here very often, but a little update if any remember me Smile . I lost my baby March 06, been TTC ever since, and begining to wonder if that was my only one and I won't get a second chance. So I guess I'm not feeling too great. Hopefully it will happen soon, I can't take much more!
Sarah

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I remember you Sarah! :bighug:

I am so sorry your TTC journey is taking so long. I have a great deal of admiration for you old timers, i really do. Smile Since you're past the year mark are you having any consultations about testing or anything?

Joined: 03/08/06
Posts: 183

We are doing clomid, and talking about another surgery for my endo. Dh is also getting tested this month. So I guess we'll see how that turns out. I have had about all the tests there are to have. And all came back normal, except for the endo.
Sarah

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Oh i really hope everything comes out clear and you concieve a sticky bean soon hun.

:bighug:

BLP
Joined: 02/19/07
Posts: 47

Hi Sarah,
I am still feeling sad about my loss last month, but I am also feeling hopeful for my future.

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Hey Bernice!

:bighug:

The board isnt the same without you honey. Smile I'll be mighty jealous when another birth board gets to keep you!

Feeling hopeful is great. It took a long time for me to feel that way. Of course you're still feeling sad - you always will miss your little dumpling. Just like i'll miss my pumpkin pie forever. That's not a bad thing. It's a testament to how loved an wanted they were.

:giveflower:

Joined: 12/09/06
Posts: 74

I don't really post here a lot anymore but I do check in on occassion. I lost my baby 12/06 and am still having issues. I just finished up a really wacky BCP taking schedule to try to straighten out abnormal bleeding due to what they are saying is hormone issues after my m/c. Prior to that they tried Provera. Now that I'm done with the pills we are hoping to conceive quickly. After the rocky road the last 6 months, I'm doubting the TTC journey will be quick.

Teresa

bookboarder's picture
Joined: 04/15/06
Posts: 52

I'm feeling like $h*t on a stick, personally, but I'm trying. I just want so badly to still be pregnant. It's been really hard. Starting school has kept me busy, but now I'm sick (staph infection) and I just feel even more down.

Glad to see you here, though. Smile

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Theresa ~ So sorry things couldnt have been easier with your cycles. I will pray that your TTC journey is a short one. ~*babydust*~

Nichole ~ I can't imagine how you feel and the longing you must have for your lost little bean. Sickness is just another kick in the teeth huh? Sad

:bighug:

bookboarder's picture
Joined: 04/15/06
Posts: 52

Yeah... It definitely doesn't help.

I just got back from spending the night in the hospital. I waited from 2 am to noon to be seen. The abscess in my underarm became unbearably painful. So, I had to have it lanced, along with one other one. It was quite possibly the most painful thing I've ever experienced. The lidocaine did not take on the bad abscess, and so I could feel her cutting with the scalpel. It only got worse as she expelled the nastiness within.

{GROSS WARNING} When it was done, looked over my shoulder and a pool of blood and puss in a foot long by 10 inch wide blob.

My blood sugar was high, which was really weird, and I think it was due to hypoglycemia that I've been suspicious that I have had for a while.

Well, more testing abounds, and yes, it's just one blow after another. I can't go to classes until Wednesday which means I will have to drop out of the semester, which stinks because I have 100% in my Math class, and 93% in my Anatomy Lab, and a 95% in my Anatomy Lecture.

Nothing like being kicked when you're down. Of course, I had to explain my three miscarriages also, along with the fact that I've been pregnant twice this year, and haven't actually had a period since late January. What a night/day.

Sorry to have rambled on here, I'm just exhausted and a little depressed after this experience.

Joined: 06/09/06
Posts: 3264

Nichole, I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I hope you see a light at the end of the tunnel soon.

As for me, I'll have reached the end of the 3-month waiting period in about 10 days. My RE said we could go ahead and do the clomid/IUI this cycle, but I'm not ready. I want to drop about 8 more pounds and continue to feel healthy before trying again. The s/e from the methotrexate were so horrible and the m/c itself was so painful physically that I just can't face the idea of being pregnant again until I feel like I can physically deal with the possibility of another ectopic nightmare (or m/c, for that matter). Emotionally I feel pretty good, though. I think once I feel like I'm physically stronger, I'll feel emotionally stronger, too. I hope.

Thanks for checking in with us, Sarah! It sounds like you're in a really good place right now and I hope you stay there!

bookboarder's picture
Joined: 04/15/06
Posts: 52

Thanks gal.

I really hope that you feel better physically, soon.

I know exactly how hard it is to feel good emotionally when physically, you're run down.

Jessa_2213's picture
Joined: 11/13/06
Posts: 129

Big hugs to everyone! I think its nice to hear what everyone is doing... even if they're having a bad time Sad I think it makes you feel better just to be able to tell someone else how you feel. So hopefully you all feel better now!

It's been since 11/27/06 since I lost my angel. I passed his due date with minimal emotion luckily. I've been working sooo much lately that I didn't really have time to be sad. I guess now all I have is time... I really need something to nurture and take care of, so I've finally picked out a pet. I'm excited because I get to pick her up tomorrow.

More hugs to everyone. Keep up on how you're doing.

Joined: 03/20/07
Posts: 36

DH and I are nearing TTC again, we lost 2 angels, one in Sept'06, one in Feb'07. The RE has diagnosed me with hypothyroidism and I've been taking meds for almost 4 weeks now. I go for a follow up retest next Thursday and if all is well, we will TTC the following week with a shot of progesterone following ovulation.....

Cali26's picture
Joined: 02/01/07
Posts: 1040

:bigarmhug:
I hope you are all able to get back to TTC whenever you feel ready. I'm anxious to hear what my dr says about when I can try again. I go in on Friday - since everything happened naturally and went relatively smooth, I am hoping I can start as soon as my next cycle begins. We'll see.

Jessa - what kind of pet will you be getting? My furbaby is awesome and never fails to bring a smile to my face. While going through a crappy week, I swear my cat knew something was up - he was always following me around and had to either lick my leg or stand right next to me. Call me crazy, but I think he was comforting me - hehe.

kmg - I'm sorry for your losses but I hope the new treatment you are getting is the answer that will help you have a healthy pg.

Jessa_2213's picture
Joined: 11/13/06
Posts: 129

I'm getting a chinchilla, I'm adopting her from a girl who's mother was allergic so she couldn't keep her anymore. I really really wanted a dog, a shiba inu, but I can't afford to pay the extra rent on my apartment and I've been working so much now (plus I'll be back to school soon) that it just wouldn't be fair to her to be alone so much. I'd feel bad if I got a puppy and then locked her inside all day.
I've always thought that animals have a 'sixth sense'. They seem to be able to sense emotions...and always know how to make you feel better.

Lots of love and :bighug: to everyone!

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Nichole ~ I just saw this... (((hugs)))

gottharf ~ It sounds like you have your head screwed on right and you know what you want. It's great that you have a good plan. Smile I hope that when you do decide to TTC again that your sticky BFP comes quickly. :giveflower:

Jessa ~ You're getting a chinchilla! That's awesome, they're sooo cute!! It's so good that you're coping well and working hard. I know that it is easy to absorb yourself in work to pass the time. I used to swing between working too hard and the other extreme of just giving in and not giving a hoot.

kmg74 ~ It's wonderful that your doctors are taking action and that you have a plan to hopefully overcome m/c. I wish you the best of luck. Smile

Cali ~ ~*babydust*~ to you too honey. I hope that you get the go ahead after your appointment and that your sticky BFP comes soon.

I hope that all of you TTC'ers keep us updated on your progress. It's wonderful to hear from you all and i stalk you often on TTCAL. Smile