How to remember the baby you lost??

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ChrissyD2103's picture
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526
How to remember the baby you lost??

Well today I had my post op appt. I got to see pictures and all of that. Unknown to us the Dr. sent off the baby, "fetus" for genetic testing, since he was aware of all of our losses, al though this has been the hardest, mostly becuase how far I was. Anyway, I am glad he was being proactive. He said he just wanted to be sure there were no genetic abnormalites causing everything. The baby was perfect. Which I guess is good and bad news, it hurts knowing that there was a perect, healthy baby growing inside me, just not in the right spot. So he asked if we would like to know the sex of the baby since they knew from the testing. We said yes, and it was a girl. I am glad we know, but at the sametime it makes it so hard. It's as if it suddenly becomes like you have lost an actual child, if that makes sense??? Not that all miscarriages aren't losses, but I guess I feel like this one is so much more. I don't mean to offend anyone with that statement. It is just how I am feeling.

So my question......I feel like we should name this little girl, and I would like to get maybe a birthstone-ring/necklance/bracelet etc. as a way of mamorializing her. I don't want her to be forgotten, I want to feel like what I went through mattered, and that her little short life had a purpose. Do you guys think that this is a morbid idea????

Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry for your loss. I know many women who have named their babies, it it not a morbid idea. You can get a necklace with a birthstone of the month you lost her or the month in which she should have been born. I know people who have done both. People have also planted trees, my brother and SIL planted matching trees for the twin boys they loss. Do what you feel is right for you. :bigarmhug:

CamelNoodle's picture
Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

(s/b ment)

Not, it's not morbid. A baby is a baby. I wear garnet birthstone earings for my son who was stillborn in January (2007).