I just wondered how you are all doing? I know we are all in this awful journey but i wanted to know how you were? Good or bad.
I am having a good week, thankfully. I went back to work last week and that has helped with getting my mind focusing on other things than grief.
Last Friday i met a few of the girls off the UK board - we went to Sarah (Uropachild) house who some of you may know from here. That was a lovely day.
I have a friend who was due the same time as i was. I haven't seen her since i lost my baby. I have been dreading seeing her and getting quite worked up about it in my mind. I met a few friends on Sunday night for a drink and when i walked in the pub, my pregnant friend was there. I didn't know she would be there. I think it helped not knowing as i had not got all worked up. I was ok - had a few tears well up in my eyes at one point, but sat next to her and talked to her and even managed to ask her about her pregnancy. So i am pleased that "first" has passed.
On the whole i am ok but still not right, of that makes sense?
Last edited by sunnycrest; 05-20-2009 at 11:02 AM.
Not great. Between finals week, the giant sign still up on campus, and my obgyn asking if I've thought about having some eggs frozen, not great. I don't know if I want that. I lost one fallopian tube, and by my antral follicle count, I'll be infertile before 35. Considering that I need to get through medical school and preferably residency, that doesn't leave me much leeway (I'm 24).
I also seem to be blaming myself this week. Not sure where that came from. I was on birth control when I got pregnant, the Mirena IUD. I know that the chances of getting pregnant on the Mirena are less than 1%, but about 50% of those that do get pregnant on the IUD are ectopic. Mine wasn't quite, but close enough that it put me at significant risk, along with the fact that I had basically no endometrial lining. I'm one of the women that stopped menstruating on the IUD, I haven't had a period in over 2 years. I had no idea I was pregnant, when I went into my doctor I thought I had a stomach flu I couldn't shake (I was at 6 weeks then). Pregnancy hadn't crossed my mind. Had I realized earlier and gone in and had the IUD removed, there was a chance that my body could have built up more of a lining and that I could have supported my daughter. I guess thats where the self-blame comes from.
Okay, that was longer than I meant it to be, and really self-pitying. Sorry, I'm tired.
I hope the D&C goes as well as it can, have ice cream and a hot water bottle ready.