Well of course now that I am in my first cycle of ttc I am driving myself crazy. Last week when in a dollar store I picked up preg tests (yes I know they aren't that reliable and before now I would have laughed at hte thought). I figured it would curb my urge to test without blowing the expense of the other tests I purchased. If I ever miss a period I figured I'd use a more reliable test.
And all week I have been obsessing about every symptom I have thinking... well rather hoping.. I am pregnant again. Seeing if my belly feels the way it did last time....over analyzing my nausea and headaches... etc.
And today... do you know what I did? I actually did one of the preg tests.... that's fine you might say....but I am only a few days past dpo and my period isn't due til the 25th or so. We all know this is not an appropriate time to test. But yet I saw myself there this morning hoping and being a little disappointed when I got the result I knew I was getting... a bf negative. I know now I've gone crazy.
And then at the same time I feel guilty being on this board... I say to myself I should be on a ttc board. But my grief is still too fresh to go there and I find those boards just make me feel worse. Although ttc is on my mind... my lost angel is on my mind even more.
I tell myself relax... things will happen if they are meant to be. I say... I am not advanced age... I am healthy.. what the heck is the rush... but then all these other feelings take over and I just can't help myself. I do know that next month I will buy an OPK to alleviate tiring of bding when there is no ovulation.
Okay who is going crazy with me? Or am I from another planet on this one?
Moderator of the pregnancy and infant loss support board
You are not crazy. I started testing around 5dpo...Only because I was not sure of O!!!! And also because I needed to up my progesterone as soon as I got a bfp...the sooner, the better...That said, I have tested as early as 2-3 dpo as well.
Anyways, I think I am 9dpo now....I updated on another thread on this board with my results...Will see how things go.
I think it is fine to post on this board about preg/ttc. As long as the title of the thread states ttc/preg-ment. This way, ladies that are not ready to read about such things, are warned, and will not click on that post.
There are girls that are not ready to go full blown onto a ttc board...for whatever reason..So I am sure you would still have plenty of support as a result, if you decided to post about ttc.
This is my first TTC cycle and I am in constant worry/panic mode.
For me, I'm constantly worrying about overdoing things or doing something to damage the pregnancy even though there is virtually nothing I could do at this stage to effect it (i'm like 6 days DPO.) I mention this, not to hijack the thread, but so that you don't feel guilty. There are several of us here who are TTC and still missing our little ones and needing support.
I hang out on some of the TTC boards, but find myself here often. For those of us who've suffered a loss, pregnancy isn't all happy sunshine and I often worry about "bumming" out the other TTC-ers if I talk too much about what I've been through.
I'm glad you are posting here. I find myself in this board more than the others because I can relate to what everyone in here is saying. I'm pg now but I still think about my other babies that are in heaven and sometimes I have to catch myself so that I'm not too negative in the pg boards. PAL (PG After Loss) board is really good to but I notice I hold back there a little bit too. Please KUP and I hope everything works out for you.
I remember the feeling... the need to be pregnant again, as soon as possible. The compulsion to test constantly... the dollar store tests are a blessing, so cheap the yet effective. I remember how excited I'd get...just to pee on a stick, and then the horrible sinking feeling when it would turn up negative yet again...and how much it hurt to watch all the other women who were TTC getting their BFP's... and wonder why I couldn't be with them.
You aren't alone. And you aren't crazy... I think we've all felt that way at one point or another. Stay here and talk to us for as long as you feel comfortable. Also, Keep Up... we want to know whats going on with your ttc journey.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.
I am about 5 dpo and I strongly feel I will not be getting my bfp this time around. I have to put my hopes down a little or it will make my ttc journey harder. If I spend every single month thinking I am pregnant, it may be unrealistic expectations.
At the same time I cannot help but treat myself as pregnant right after O because I want to be sure I am doing the best things I can as early as I can. I have given up the strenuous activities including my love of scuba diving, but have put my best foot forward on making healthier choices with nutrition.
I still feel a little crazy... and I realize this will be a rollercoaster ride one way or another. If I do get my bfp, I will be on eggshells thinking about it. And if I don't things will be frustrating. I guess I will have to hand it over to a higher power as I should realize this isn't necessarily in my control
I know it's a little late, but just had to reply. I was obsessive like you the first time around. I would feel the slightest discomfort and attribute it to possible pregnancy and had to MAKE myself refrain from testing until the 1st day of my missed period (so I wouldn't have that disappointment from testing too early). In my case, I was pregnant, but the funny thing is the day I tested, I was convinced it would be negative. How crazy is that??? I haven't allowed myself to be that way this time, to get too close just yet...
I think it's great and very practical to "act pregnant" while you're trying because your baby deserves the best chance from day one. Good luck!!!