I really wasn't sure what to call this one because all the things that came to mind were so unpleasant...something like 'WTF!!!!' or well, I'll stop there. Anyway
It's been 4 months since our loss and I open up my e-mail today to see a message from a friend back home in IL. The VERY FIRST LINE said 'Hello!!! So do have a baby yet or what!!!!! My sister is due in 3 weeks, she's sure she'll go this weekend though. Shouldn't you be getting close!?!' Ok, now I know she didn't mean anything and I haven't talked to her much, but I KNOW I sent her an e-mail along with the rest of my contacts when we lost the baby specifically so this wouldn't happen!!!!!!!! I'm not mad at her, b/f is right, she's a really really nice person and when she opens the e-mail I sent her explaining that we wouldn't be having our baby and what happened, she is going to be so upset, but I could only respond in the e-mail, I couldn't bring myself to call her. I did say not to be upset, it was a mistake is all and we are doing better, but she has 2 kids, she'll know what it was like for me to get that message, that's just how she is.
I think my problem here is that sometimes it just feels like I'm being punished or something (I know I'm not really being punished, but still), like I'm not supposed to do better or feel better because just when I'm getting back to 'life' and my new 'normal' something like this happens and sets me back. Now granted, it didn't hit me like I would have 2 months ago, or even a month ago, and I am very grateful for that much at least, but @#$%^&#@!!!!!!!!! It still sucks. I know that this is part of my new normal. Little things will happen to remind me for the rest of my life, but, well, GGGGRRRRRRRRrrrrr...just Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Thanks for listening, I feel better now, much more calm
:bighug: to all of us