Almost 2 months ago i found out i was pregnant. A few days later I had what i thought was another miscarriage. A week later i was still having signs of pregnancy and even though the bleeding had stopped i was still spot bleeding after sex. so i went to the doctor and found out that i was still pregnant. that was a month ago. a week later i was in the emergency room with a subchorionic hemmorage.They told me no sex and took me out of work for acouple of days. that sunday i started bleeding real heavy so i went back. they told me that the hemmorage was gone but they didnt knwo why i was bleeding. i saw the baby and heard the heart beat. A day or 2 later the bleeding stopped. but i was still haveing discharge that sometimes had blood it in it and sometimes looked like snot. that friday, last friday, was my first ob appt. i told my doc. every thing and we heard the heartbeat he gave me a shot of antibiotics for the infection that wascauseing the discharge, gaveme some more antibiotics to take there and some to take home with me. he took blood and did a pap. last monday i started having real bad cramps and was see real bright red blood so i called the dr and got an appt. for that day at 4. as the day went on the cramps got worse and more frequent. so did the bleeding. by the time igot to the dr. he said i was technically in labor and the baby passed on his table. unfortunatly i was only 12 weeks so nothing could be done. the placenta would not comeout so i had to have and emergency D and C. before i had not made it past 6weeks in a pregnancy and was not really affected by it. but this time i am crying off and on for no reason, i don't want to eat. nothing looks appetizing at all. and to make matters worse, my sister is pregnant to and she is 8 weeks or so and so far her preg. is going perfectly. It really only seemed to set in that i had lostthe baby yesterday, and i just don't know how to deal with this. My fiancee is being very supportive of me right now which is helpful but i don't want to feel like i am burdening him with my emotionswhen he has to dealwith this in his way to. If anyone has any suggestions on how i can cope with this loss and be able to move on please help me. I am only 23 years old and i just don't know how to handle this
I am so sorry for the loss of your child. It was a child. So there is a reason for you to be crying. You are grieving. Let yourself grieve! Scream, sob, whatever you need to do. That is the only way you will ever find peace is to grieve and come to terms with what happened. It's ok to share your feelings with your SO. Even if you two have very different ways of grieving.
Seeing other women's healthy pregnancies and babies will be hard for you, as it is for most women who lose a child. Just explain to your sister if it every comes up that you don't feel comfortable sometimes.
We all know basically what you are going through. Please stay strong.
It is not easy for anyone to lose someone special in our lives. Your little baby that was inside you was a part of you and a part of your fiance. It was created out of love and compassion and it was cared for.
There is nothing wrong with feeling sad and hurt or even with being angry and upset. It is completely normal and failure to acknowledge it or faliure to greive would in fact be worse. Time will never heal your wound entirely, but it will make it more bearable.
I firmly believe that you should talk to your fiance about your pain. It is possible he needs to talk as well and is scared to bring it up to you. I also know the importance of expression. My husband and I have dealt with the death and loss of our pregnancies as two individuals rather than the one unit we are and it has caused us a great deal of unneeded grief on top of our already fragile and broken states. Do not seperate yourselves becaue of one anothers need to grieve in his or her own way. Grieve as parents to the child not as man and woman or you and him.
I suffered very badly from depression after I buried my first son and it was difficult being so very young. I was 21 and that is just a few years younger than you now. I was alone as the man who got me pregnant left when we found out. It was up to me to get the pregnancy to where it was a 32 weeks alone. I did my best. I have never gotten over his death. Then it became worse when I buried my second son. I didn't shower, didn't clean the house, didn't cook, didn't eat, didn't go out of my house. Now my husband says he resents that I ignored him and ignored my responsibilites and we are treading on very thin ice. After our miscarriage in August I felt as if he blamed me for what had happened with the babies we had made together. We never talked about our pains and now I do not know if we can save our marriage but this is early on for you still. Never keep it inside you. It will eat at you.
Talk to him, see a counselor, talk to family and friends. You may think like a woman and look like a woman, but you are so very young still. I am sorry you have to go through this. I pray for you. If it becomes so that you cannot overcome the depression you may want to consider temporary medication. I had to do it for quite sometime. I hope you can get over it without it, but do know it is there for you if you need it.
I'll Love You Forever, I'll Like You For Always, As Long As I'm Living, My Baby You'll Be
I am so sorry for your loss. Any loss, at an gestation, is hard. Please don't feel that you don't want to burdon your SO with your true feelings. He will understand & be there for you. Sometiems, So/DH's do grieve differently than we do, so I am glad that you have found us here.
We will be here whenever you want to talk, vent or grieve.
At any stage in a pg it is very hard to understand and accept why this happens. I feel for you and wish there was something that I could tell you that would ease the pain. I can tell you that with each day it will get a little easier though you will still want to know why. Big hugs to you.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Grieve however you need to, and if that is crying all day, then do it. I understand you not having much of an appetite but make sure you eat something because the last thing you want now is to get real sick.
It does get easier as time goes by, and letting all your emotions out instead of bottling them up helps with that. I felt the same as you when I first m/c'd. I needed to know how to cope because I felt so lost and overwhelmed. But it has been 8 weeks now and I can say it does get easier. It has helped us to start TTC again as soon as we could, but that is not what helps everyone. I wish you all the best.
Thank you everyone for your posts. We don't plan on trying again for a while. It wasn't a planned one but we were still happy about it. I appreciate your support. Its nice to have someone who knows what i am going through. I don't know if i will ever stop grieving inside but i am feeling better. I am eating a little more and trying to stay active as much as i can.