I feel funny posting here. wanted to introduce myself. (m/c ment)

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whawuzthat's picture
Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 14
I feel funny posting here. wanted to introduce myself. (m/c ment)

I've been lurking here all week and a friend of mine suggested I seek some support... so I thought I would introduce myself. I had a very early miscarriage last weekend... I cant help but feel like I shouldnt even post here.. I was only about 5 weeks.. maybe a few days more. I've gotten to the point where I feel like no-one understands and that maybe what I am feeling is not normal. I thought I was doing ok... but this weekend I broke down again. I feel so insecure about myself ever since... I cant help but feel fragile and frail..mentally. I just want to dissapear. Im so afraid of falling into a depression and I really really dont want to. I really just dont know where to go from here. I feel so lost...........

Joined: 08/24/08
Posts: 21

I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how early the loss, it is still a loss and you will still grieve! What you are feeling is completely normal and some days you will feel fine and other days you will feel like the world is going to end. Lots of hugs and tears for you!

andrea

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry for your loss. As PP's have said it doesn't matter when you lost your baby, it is the fact that you did.

If you are like most of us, that baby is your child and you have hopes and dreams for him/her from the moment that you get that positive HPT.

Please come here and vent, cry, complain, whatever as often or as little as you may need.

Shelly

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I am so sorry for your loss. I know as soon as I found out I was pregnant I had hopes and plans, so a loss, no matter the time, is devastating. You are normal. I went through a period of being quite depressed, and I think a lot of that had everything to do with those around me not understanding. Honestly, I can say that this and the ttcal (trying to conceive after a loss) board helped pull me out. Recently my dh even said that he felt these boards were a huge help to me. I felt understood and validated. Hugs.

lotusblossom23's picture
Joined: 09/23/08
Posts: 23

i just want to say that no matter how far along you are..a loss is a loss..and it's still a very very hard process....for me..it's been one month since my m/c and i'm dealing with my day to day things a little bit better..but i still have my emotional moments..and there are still times where it's really hard to get through....but we are here for you as a support....sending hugs and thoughts your way

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss, sweetheart.

As the pp's above have said, we grieve our baby no matter how far along we were. We bond with our little one as soon as we know we are pregnant, and then 'wham' -- it's so horrible, it feels so unfair -- and our hopes and dreams are taken from us too, along with our baby.

I'm glad you're here, because this board has helped me far more than anything else. The lovely community here provide support, caring and understanding.

We're all here for you, and we're going to help you through this.

Great big bear hugs,
Nicole

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I understand completely how you are feeling, and like you, I felt as if no one really understood and tried to make everything disapear. This board is an incredibly helpful and understanding place to be. A loss is hard no matter when. Even infertility or a visit from AF can feel as if you have had a loss. I hope that you are able to heal in your own way and in your own time. Big hugs!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ditto what the other ladies said. It does not matter how far along you were. It was still a baby to you and always will be. It was a hope and a dream that was tragically taken away.
Do not allow others to tell you that you have no right to grieve b/c you were "only 5 weeks". Be kind to yourself.

Lace's picture
Joined: 11/20/03
Posts: 27

People who have never experienced a loss and men who have never carried a baby often do not understand that we carry a baby with us for an entire preg and when we lose that baby we carry the loss in much the same way. I know for me that everytime I would go to the bathroom and see blood on the tissue it was a reminder...I mean I can't even go to the bathroom without being reminded of my loss. Sometimes people don't understand that.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter when or how early your loss occured. Ever loss is terrible.
I think what you are going through is normal. Talk about your loss, your baby. It was real, the pregnancy and child. Make sure you let yourself feel. From experience you will go through a roller coaster of emotions. Let yourself. Some days you will feel like you are alright and others you will feel less then normal. This is all alright.

I hope in time you will find some peace again.
Robin

allyinthevalley's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 66

Oh honey. I'm so sorry you are going through this. As others have mentioned, many mothers, just as soon as they get a positive pregnancy test, start imagining their future child. You think of who she or he will be. What will you name him? Will she look like you? What clothes are you going to buy for him? Will you be using disposable diapers? What should the nursery look like? What will life be like once you have this child? How many, many, many times will he make you smile? How worth it will it all be?
So when you lose that child, you haven't just lost a little embryo that barely had a chance. You've lost that child that you've thought up in your mind. You've lost all of the hopes and dreams that went along with it.
It's heart shattering.
Don't feel bad. Many of us had early miscarriages, but we each lost someone who was close to us that we loved.
We understand, and we definately care about you.
:bigarmhug:

Joined: 10/19/08
Posts: 9

I am so sorry for your loss. It does not matter how far along you are. You lost a baby and it really hurts. Unfortunately most people do not understand unless they have gone through this. Take the time to grieve, you need and deserve that.

You are in my thoughts. Sending a hug your way.

Peggy

whawuzthat's picture
Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 14

I really wanted to thank you ladies for your support. I felt like I had nowhere to turn. You really made my feel better.. I now know my feelings were and are justified despite what anyone has said to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I'm glad everyone hear could help. I seriously feel that were it not for this board and ttcal I would be very very depressed, outside of here ppl just do not understand and want to talk about it.

:bigarmhug: