I guess I belong here (M/C ment/Child ment)

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AJsmommy's picture
Joined: 05/08/07
Posts: 289
I guess I belong here (M/C ment/Child ment)

Hello, I'm Shannon. Yesterday I went to my third prenatal appointment and my doctor could not find a heartbeat. He did an ultrasound and confirmed that our baby had died. I would have been 15 weeks today. I will be having a D&C on Friday. I had two ultrasound already showing a growing bean with a heartbeat. I should have been shocked, but in all honesty, I knew before the appointment that this would happen. I was hoping I was wrong, but I knew. It wasn't a suprise, but it is still heartbreaking.

Child Mention/TTC mention

I have a beautiful 18 month old DD and she is a great source of comfort today, as is DH. I feel so lost, but she is keeping me grounded.

I also have a question about TTC after a D&C. I didn't want to ask my doctor yesterday, but how long does it usually take for things to go back to normal? Part of what is so difficult for me is the unknown of everything. I had made lots of plans around this pregnancy and now I have to change course. I want to TTC again as soon as possible. I know not everyone feels that way, but it brings me great comfort to think about it.

Thanks so much for listening.

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I haven't had a D&C so I can't answer that. I do want to say that I am sorry for your loss.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry for your loss.

They usually like to see you wait a few cycles before you try again.

Joined: 08/18/08
Posts: 7

So sorry for you loss. I just had a D&C two weeks ago. My doctor told me to wait until my next cycle to TTC. I think it is usually more than that but due to my advance age he didn't want to wait.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 835

Sorry to see you here Shannon, I'm so sorry for the loss.

My D&C was three weeks ago and I'm just waiting to see when my cycle returns. My doc gave us the ok to start ttc at anytime but it seems like most people get told to wait a little while

squirlyj's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 121


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry for your loss!

(preg/child mentioned)

Similar to you, at 16 weeks we discovered our baby had passed when an ultrasound showed no heartbeat. I had a D&E (similar to a D&C) that day because they were concerned about infection. My period returned about six weeks later and I got pregnant the following cycle. That pregnancy resulted in a healthy baby.

At the time, our doctor recommended waiting a few cycles to TTC. However, he said that was more for emotional recovery. I felt like you do and wanted to try again right away.

In all honesty, I have to mention that I did experience some emotional issues related to being pregnant again so soon after the loss. I don't think I was prepared for just how worried I would be *all the time* and how much I would still grieve over my first baby. Getting pregnant again did not change the loss. However, that being said, if I had to do it all over again, I obviously would in a heartbeat. But, please make sure you give yourself all the room you need to grieve and recover.

Hope that helps,

Anngie60's picture
Joined: 01/28/07
Posts: 630

Im so sorry for your loss.
I found out i had a missed m/c when i went for my 10-11 week scan, they found the baby had died at 8.5 weeks.
I had a D+C and my periods returned 6 weeks later. Hopefully you shouldnt be far off that although im not 100% sure as you are further along than me.
I have heard slot of different things, some say wait up to 6 months before ttc again, some say 3 months, some say when your period returns to normal. I personally wanted, like you, to start ttc straight away.
I hope you get through this difficult time as best as you can, i know its one of the hardest things i have prob dealt with. (((HUGS)))

Specialwish's picture
Joined: 09/18/08
Posts: 5

:comfort:I am very sorry for your loss!
I also had a miscarriage last sunday ( Sept 14h ), our baby was 9 weeks 1/2.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a m/c requiring a D & C and had the same questions for my doctor. ]

My (well respected) doctor wanted me to wait 3 cycles for things to 'return to normal', and my (well respected) ob/gyn just wanted DH & I to 'live naturally' -- to not worry about calendars.

So the verdict was out. In the end we decided to do what the ob/gyn said, and I simply found it relaxing to just 'be ourselves'.

I hope all works out really well for you. Fingers crossed!


Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers!

I have had 2 d&cs (11 wks and 9wks) and my doc advised to wait 2 cycles to ttc. I believe it is to let the uterus build up a healthy lining, as a d&c gets rid of much more than an af or natural m/c. For me, we opted to wait, because heaven forbid, had it happened again, I did not want to have an extra reason to question/blame myself.

It took me 36 days after both d&cs for af to return. My first d&c my cycles were wonky for maybe 3-4 months after. After the second, they were also off for a few months.

Hugs and prayers. I too was ready to ttc right away, and took great comfort in it. You should join us over at the trying to conceive after a loss board

AJsmommy's picture
Joined: 05/08/07
Posts: 289

Thank you all so much. I ended up not needing the D&C. My beautiful little boy came on his own a half hour before we were going to leave for my appointment. Here is what I wrote on my BB about it. Will is my DH and Sprout is what we nicknamed the baby. DH and I both decided not to give him a proper name. For some reason we couldn't think of names that felt right, and we are used to calling him Sprout.

UPDATE 9-20 !WARNING! - This may contain details that would be upsetting to some. Please don't feel like you have to read.

Will and I are feeling very blessed that we did not have to go for the D&C yesterday. Sprout came peacefully at home about a half and hour before we were going to leave for my appointment. He was a tiny and beautiful little boy, but we could immediately see some reasons he might have died. Had he made it, he would have had a very difficult life. Will is very sensitive about this, so out of respect to him I won't share what was different about Sprout.

I was having some trouble passing the placenta and I was bleeding a lot, so we ran to the doctor. He was wonderful. He was able to remove it in the office so I still didn't need a D&C. He was very understanding and gentle with us. He shared that his wife had also had 2 miscarriages. It was comforting to know he understood.

It was such a blessing not to have to go through the surgery. We were able to take Sprout back home and only send the placenta off for testing. We burried him in a large potted tree in our yard. It's a cherry tree. I'll post pics of the tree later. We chose to use a pot because we don't plan to stay in this house and we knew we didn't want to leave him behind.

We we so grateful for the way yesterday went because it brought us a lot of peace and closure. I can't tell you how important that was to us.

Thank you all for all your thoughts and prayers.

I am glad I found this board. It is nice to talk with people who understand.