My husband went to talk to the medical examiner today and go over his report of Damien's death. My baby boy had brown eyes according to the report--my eyes. That itself started a fresh round of tears. Any way, the medical examiner (that works FOR the Navy) has emphatically recommended that we get ahold of the JAG and pursue this. I am really upset at what this could possibly mean. A civilian attorney has been contacted. We spoke to his assistant and are just waiting to hear from the lawyer himself. Now we are at the point where we have to decide whether or not to have an autopsy done. I want to have one done. I DO NOT want the navy to be the one to do it. Luckily for us, my MIL will pay for it and let us pay her back when we can. Now, it is just a matter of having the local hospital do the autopsy. This way we can hope to get an impartial report and not completely tip off the Navy as to what is on our minds just yet. On top of all this, I keep getting told that it was problems with the placenta and a large clot that caused all of this. If that is the case, then why did the doctors not send the clot and the placenta to the ME for testing? He said that all he received was photos! As far as he knew everything was accepted at face value and there was no need to question not receiving physical specimens. I am just so devastated and angry and confused all at the same time. I have waves of grief wash over me and yet I feel the anger bubbling up inside. How am I supposed to trust these people to give me adequate feminine care if it turns out that they actually caused the death of my son? So many questions and no answers. It just hurts so damn much. Thank you for "listening" if you have made it this far. It really does help to have a place to go where I can feel safe enough to completely unload what I am feeling/going through.