So I decided to return to work verrry early.
Beckett William has a routine. Patrick has competetive chess, Hannah plays on a travelling ball team.
I had four walls to stare at and how much more HGTV can one person watch before mentally redecorating the entire place. It was exhausting to watch...and I just stayed in bed.
I came home from the hospital and cried for what seemed like 4 days straight....and then I got out of bed and realized I cannot do "this" again.
My heart is still broken and my emotions are still pretty raw.
My job is a crazy busy one that sometimes causes me to forget to eat etc, so I thought it might help. I work in a office, and its my office so no one is going to invade my space or make me feel bad etc in my own little spot. I thought it might be a safe bet..so after a wrestless night, I ventured back to work.
I almost survived the entire 1st day-several condolences; but I almost adamantly said " I am doing well, every day is better..." and moved on.
Then came the out of the blue, full body hug (ewww and awwwwkward!!) from my bosses, bosses boss...really an odd situation. But I hugged him back-what can you do? I know they all care. Then there was the secretary-sweet lady; and she does not know Emily Post, so I did not expect anything special, just some politeness that I would extend given the circumstances. She said "so I heard you were in the hospital" I replied. "I was" and my chest tightened... "Are you okay" She asked. "Yes-I am fine, thanks for asking." At this point I am looking for a place to exit stage right....no where to run. "And how is the baby?" UGH! Blow to the chest-then I couldn't breathe and just wanted to run screaming from the room. I am CLEARLY not pregnant anymore. I said "She is gone-we lost her." and with that I walked away
Now---wouldn't a normal person politely let it go? Or offer a short "Im sorry" and move on? Yes----I think.
Not her, she followed me!!! Down the hall into our conference room "What happened to her?" " Are you okay?" " Did you bury her??"
I stopped and turned around and said "Please, XXXXXX, I dont want to talk about this, okay?" and she smiled and left...
I thought I would hyperventilate right there. I just took some deep breaths, and tried to regain my composure.
Since returning to work, I have run into three of her. All sweet people. All made me want to run screaming from the building....
I was right-I am now so busy I cannot even see straight. So it worked I think?
Thanks for listening