I'd love some advice...(child ment)

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I'd love some advice...(child ment)

Hi ladies,

I hope you don't mind me posting here to ask your opinion on something. My freind lost her little boy at 20 weeks in July last year. She is now 11 weeks pregnant and I'm starting to think about when she gives birth (everything is fine so far, her last loss was tragic, but not expected to happen again).

Is it appropriate to mention her little boy when she has her next LO? I'm thinking here of when I write her a card (she collects and saves all her cards, so I'm always aware of what I write in them!)- should I refer to her angel in heaven? I dont want to pretend he doesnt exist on a day where they'll have such joy over a brand new life, but at the same time, I'm sure she'll be thinking of her other LO - she is still having such a hard time since he passed away.

What do you think?

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Has she named him?? I would def mention her little boy and refer to him by name if she did name him....

Most that have suffered loss, would be upset if their lo's who have passed on were not mentioned..

If you want..You could post what you are going to say here...We could help you with the wording if you think you will need it...

You are a great friend to not forget to mention her little boy..

Marie

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Thanks Marie.

yes, I would mention his name. If you don't mind giving your thoughts on what sounds OK, I would probably write the following:

"We're so happy and thrilled with the arrival of............A precious miracle and gift from above. While you miss the oppurtunity to cradle little Lachlan in your arms, may this new little one give you joy and peace, knowing that Lachlan is safe in the arms of Jesus.
Wishing you all the very best with your precious little girl...we hope she gives you lots of good sleep, plenty of wonderful memories and much happiness!!!"

I don't want to make a new mum cry either...those hormones mixed with bitter-sweet joy...I really feel for them.

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Sounds perfect....

She will cry...But happy/sad tears..Sad tears, because she did not get to have the same experience with Lachlan....And happy tears for her new lo, and because you remembered her son.

:bighug:

Marie

KaellyNicole's picture
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If I were your friend, I would appreciate it! I lost my son, and will be going through a birth of come own come September with my daughter. The fact that people keep focusing solely on Samantha kinda annoys me, especially when I bring up Phillip. So, I would say something!

HopefullySoon's picture
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That is perfect. You are a good friend.

tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
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I would. I hate people not mentioning Haley like it would be an elephant in the room kwim?

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What a great friend you are, to try and find the right things to say, she is lucky to have you as a friend. I also agree that mentioning her lost LO is a good idea.

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I think it's wonderfull too that you are honoring her first child. Also that you took the time to really think about what it means to do that. I'm sure she will appriciate the support that your card will give her. She will know that someone understand the mixed emotions she will likely be going through. Good for you. And post any time. That's what everyone is here for Smile

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I agree with the posters above. What you've written as a message in the card, and the fact that you're doing so will surely mean so much to your friend -- she's very lucky to have you.

We really appreciate people like you, who acknowledge our angel babies. It means a lot to us, and really helps us with our grief.

You rock.

Cheers,
Nicole

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I agree. Were I to recieve that message...or even one mentioning my little angels, I would most definately cry but I would be so greatful that someone had mentioned my babies and acknowledged their presense in our lives.

I think you are a wonderful friend to put so much thought into your message and to understand how much it could mean to her to mention Lachlan. If only more people in the world were so understanding and nice...