I like to do this periodically on this board because as much as our losses are so so sad there are also happy memories of our pregnancies before it all went wrong.
If you feel up to it, and you want to, why dont you share some happy memories? How you told DH/SO that you were expecting and their reaction etc. Anything that you look back fondly at that you would like us to know.
For me, i think that sharing the good times helps us remember the great things about pregnancy and especially the individual great things about each baby and what they brought into our lives.
When i discovered i was pregnant with Zane i was at work! I had previously done two tests at 11 and 13 DPO and they were both negative. At work one of the girls had a spare pregnancy test (dont ask - lol) and she said i should use it because i'd got to 17DPO and AF hadn't arrived. When the lines came up i was shaking so badly i could hardly see them, but the second line was really strong! I jumped up and down a few times shrieking in the toilet and then i ran out into the office carrying my pee-covered stick to show to people. I was like "You see two lines right? I'm not imagining it right?" Then i ran into my office and called DH at work. When i told him he said "Ah ****! That means i have to be all responsible now!"
There are so many happy memories from carrying Zane. Just the fact that it was my first pregnancy and wasnt tainted by loss. I knew it could happen of course, but that blissful ignorance was perfect! I was so incredibly content and happy and felt really satisfied and fulfilled with life. His kicks were really strong and he was a BIG baby. He used to always stick his foot in one place on my belly and it hurt! Once i had found out where he was laying i used to stroke his bum and be all like "Aw! Cute lil baby bum!"
Finding out i was pregnant with Ada brought a whole cascade of mixed emotions. I peed on a stick because i wanted to go out drinking, but i needed to make sure i wasnt pregnant. The test came back negative so i went out and had a couple of drinks. When i got home i looked at the test again (as you do) and there was a super feint line! I knew it could be an evap because it was very early, like 9DPO or something. I didnt sleep the whole night because i was just waiting for FMU so that i could test again. I used a First Response and sure enough up popped this ever so feint BFP! I showed it to Scott to ask if he could see it and he told me he could. I can't really remember what he said, but we were very cautious because i hadnt even missed my period yet. When i remember that, although i was feeling a lot of mixed emotions i was primarily happy and excited.
We had a lot of problems with the pregnancy, but we decided on the in-utero name of Vegas. I would have called her that after she was born, but DH hated it! I remember reading out weekly updates on her size and development in the office at work and drawling a weekly scale drawing of how big she would be to keep on my desk. I went for a lot of ultrasounds and for one of the first ones my mum was there and when she saw the little blob with a heartbeat it brought her to tears. I remember the first time i felt her kick on my hand it was totally unexpected because i didnt get that until much later with Zane. I was laying on my bed, which i used to do often to stare at my belly. I put my hand there for a moment and i got a huge kick back. I just gawped for ages and my mouth hung open for a while and then i grinned a HUGE grin and yelled for Scott. I used to lay on the bed for so long looking at my belly and watching it move. Scott couldnt understand it, he was like "Sarah, how can you spend so much time doing that?! Aren't you bored?" I never once got bored of it.
DH was home when I took the test and he knew I was taking it. I was in shock (it was only two cycles post partum). I cried and we hugged.
My DD was asleep amnd I crept into her room and whispered "You're going to be a big sister!" It gave me chills. The next morning wehn she got up all I could tihnk I was holding her and my other baby...one in ym arms and one in my tummy....it was surreal.
The best memory was when I went for an u/s (b/c I had been bleeding). I was so sure that they wouldn't find a h/b. I was crying and the tech saked what was wrong. I told her I was scared and that she could tell me everytihng was OK and that I wouldn't sue her. So all of a sudden I hear a heartbeat...now I'm hysterical. "Is that the baby's" The tech replied "I'm not saying anytihng. I just thought you might want to hear it"
What struck me was her kindness. And she gave me a wonderful gift. I loved my baby but up untilt hat moment it didn't seem real. In an instant it was very real and the love was physical in that I could physically feel the love for my child.
I was only 4 weeks along (approx) but once my husband got used to the idea we were all sitting on our bed and my husband said to my 1 year old - you're going to be a big brother, how do you like that!?
and he was adamant on only picking boys names b/c "K's don't make girls" and he didn't want to find out the sex this time bc he was so sure it was another boy.
My husband and I tried for almost a year. I have PCOS and IUI did not result in anything so we went through IVF. After the injections to produce eggs the retrieved 34 of them. I was huge with all these eggs in my ovaries. Out of the 34 eggs 11 of the turned into embryos. They transfered only one embryo in because I was hyperstimulated from the drugs. It took. I remember the phone call from the dr and 4 nurses on the phone screaming that we were pregnant, it was the end of March 07. I was so nerves I started crying and handed the phone to husband. The nurses were so excited. I had an u/s weekly so I got to see my precious peanut develop. At 7 weeks we saw the heartbeating. It was so exciting. I was discharged from the Reproductive specialist to be reg. obgyn. We wen to the fetal medicine doctor because I am diabetic and they did another u/s the baby had the hiccups and was bouncing all of the screen. It was so real then. We had a scare at 11 weeks but the baby was fine and had a strong heartbeat. I still have 10 embryos waiting for us and at this point that is what continues to get me through. They are going to get a fighting chance like their sister had.
With my first pregnancy I was just 18 and had only been with the father for a month. The greatest memory I have from that pregnancy is the first time that I realized it was David moving and not just gas. I was grinning for hours!!
With Frankie, I just knew I was pregnant and had to test. I picked up a test at Kmart on my way home from spending 24 hours of duty onboard my ship. I got home and peed on the stick. It didn't even take three seconds before the second line was showing. I almost didn't finish peeing before I was off of the toilet and in the bedroom screaming "Honey! We're pregnant!!" I must have been quite the site with a peed soaked stick in my hand, my pants around my ankles, and jumping up and down and screaming like a lunatic.
With Damien, I was in HI for wrist surgery. I had a blood draw on 5Dec to see if I was pregnant before I was allowed to have the surgery. Well, that came back negative and I had my surgery. I had to saty in HI for the wait to have my stitches taken out. I was very adamant about not taking the pain killers unless I couldn't bear the pain. My MIL thought that I was crazy. Well, we walked to the mall on the 16th and I just had to buy a test. I went to the bathroom and used it immediately. It took all of a minute and the second line was there. The hardest part was keeping it a secret from DH. I bought a baby rattle and put that in his Christmas presents. It took him a minute to figure out what the present met and then he was grinning so widely that it brought tears to my eyes.
We had decided to stop trying and I went back to school. Having endo and very irregular cycles, I would test every couple months anyway. I had been telling DH that I knew I would never have a baby and it was causing some strain because he has a son that lives with us and I was really having issues with feeling as though I would never give him another child, because I knew he wanted to have another baby. It was August 4 and we were at Target, we were walking past the pharmacy stuff and I grabbed a test and said 'humor me, it's been a minute since I tested', we got home, I peed, and I said 'uummm, honey......' and he said 'you're pregnant' and I said, 'we need to go buy a few more tests'. See I just couldn't believe that I actually had the other line. I had never had the other line. So, 3 more tests later, I was starting to believe it and he was laughing saying 'I told you so', just like a man, huh. We had an u/s that showed me at 5 weeks and all was fine until 10 weeks. I spent those next 5 with my head in the toilet and loving it like I was crazy. I remember feeling like I was finally let into some secret club. I felt special and I even liked the morning sickness (in some wierd way) because it made a pregnancy that I thought would never happen, a reality everyday. We only bought one outfit and a toy (I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself, maybe I always knew what would happen), but lots of books and magazines. I tried reading to my tummy before I was even 7 weeks along and everytime I opened a book I just started to cry. I couldn't believe that I was finally getting to do it I guess. So, DH started doing it instead. We read Robert Louis Stevenson Children's Poetry books and poems by Robert Frost. It was the best time of my life. I can honestly say that I have never been that happy.
Thank you Sarah for making me remember the good too.
I think my favorite part of being pregnant is watching the baby move. Once the kicks get really noticable and your whole belly goes crazy I also love the big gender ultrasound. I think it makes it so real when you find out if you have a little girl/ boy growing inside of you.
With Savannah I was on the BCP so my BFP was a huge surprise. I tested while DH was at work thinking it would be no big deal and when it came back positive I had to wait hours to tell him. I ended up posting the news on my sons BB because I had to tell someone. We were scared about having two little ones so close together but really excited.
We found out we were expecting on 12/19/2006. After trying for a year, we were beyond thrilled. It was a tuesday, and we were meeting my MIL to finish up some Christmas shopping. We decided to keep it a secret until Christmas eve. I remember going to Yankee Candle (the big flagship store in Deerfield MA) - standing in the parking lot with all of the Christmas lights and decorations, the first snow of the season falling from the sky, and DH and I giddy with excitement and trying to hide it from his mom. I never felt so whole as I did carrying this little person. On Christmas eve, we made out little cards to hand to hand out, announcing that we were expecting our bundle of joy in August. We told my mom & dad on Christmas eve that they were going to be grandparents. Finally the holidays would be filled with magic again - having a child in the family. On Christmas day I called my best friend, and announced my big news... and to my surprise she was expecting as well.. due 5 days after me! It would be her second child (after suffering 2 losses) - and I was so excited to be sharing this special time in my life with my best friend. It was a dream come true, things couldn't have been more perfect...
With my first pregnancy it was a complete suprise! I was on the pill! I had been feeling tired and gone to the doctor and everything. Even my doctor said "well there's no chance you could be pregnant" and didnt bother to test.
Then everyone I spoke to kept saying "are you sure your not pregnant??" - DH asked me to take a test "just to put his mind at ease" so I agreed. I bought a digital, that comes up with pregnant or not pregnant (so that we wouldnt have that "is that a line or isnt it?" doubt). We were sitting on the couch waiting for it, fully expecting to see a negative and get back on with things, when the beeper went off and we looked down to see a great big PREGNANT on the screen. I sat back with my hand over my mouth in shock. DH was really in shock too and the first words out of his mouth where "Holy S*&$.....we better go tell your parents" haha I knew they would be thrilled but he was sooo worried all the way over (this was at about 10pm at night I might add!). I was getting worried about his reaction - we had spoken of kids but it had been about a year off trying - and stressing that maybe he wasn't happy about it, when we stopped at a red light, he turned to me with the biggest smile on his face and said "Wow...Im going to be a Daddy" and gave me the sweetest kiss. It was the most beautiful moment. Of course my parents were thrilled and his mum and sister more than a little suprised to see us, with my whole family in tow, rock up to their doorstep at 11pm with a bottle of champagne!!! I was 6.3 weeks
With my second pregnany I was in the supermarket with Mum shopping and walked past the meat isle...and almost threw up right there in the shops! Mum looked at me running away to a different isle and said "your not pregnant again are you??" I thought "no way" because I had only 1 period since the mc and didnt think it would happen so quick, but I did a test just to make sure and 3 tests later decided that they must be right!!! I had my second BFP. I called DH (who was working away) and told him and he started to cry he was so happy
My fondest memories of my second pregnancy (besides finding out!) was seeing the heartbeat, as I never saw one with my first pregnancy, and believe it or not when my morning sickness kicked in!!!!! It might sound silly but after my loss, where I started miscarrying just 2 days after I found out I was pregnant, getting to 10 weeks and waking up feeling sick was a wonderful thing to me. It was just another sign that all was going well. And now I know that the reason I was sooo sick morning noon and night, was because I was going to be blessed with two darling bundles.
My 4 angels, still around and waiting to come back to me