My experience on this board began last year. My husband and I decided to try for a third baby--we have a nine year old boy and a four year old girl. I became pregnant after three months and miscarried at about six weeks. I believe it was due to low progesterone since I seemed to have a luteal phase defect (I was charting my temps). We decided not to try again since the loss was so difficult emotionally. Last May, I had a sinus infection and took antibiotics that made my birth control pills ineffective. I found out I was pregnant early in June. We were so ecstatic even though we had decided we wouldn't try again. Something just felt different about this pregnancy and I had no signs of an impending miscarriage. I had an ultrasound every month that showed an active baby that liked to suck it's thumb.
On 9/21/23 (this last Sunday), seventeen weeks into my pregnancy, I noticed that my belly seemed smaller. The following day I went to the doctor after seeing a teeny tiny bit of pink spotting. The ultrasound showed the baby but no heartbeat. They estimated that the baby had died a day or two before. I was admitted to the hospital that evening to induce labor. It took a full twenty-four hours before our precious little Whitney Rose was delivered. She was absolutely perfect and healthy except that the cord was wrapped tightly around her neck. We were able to hold her and volunteer organizations called SHARE and Now I lay me down to sleep came to dress her, do hand and footprint molds, and take photos.
I just got back from the mortuary where Whitney will be cremated with her blanket and a special letter from us. I am still going through all the physical symptoms of delivering a baby with no reward. I think my husband is having just as hard of a time with this as I am and I fear that he may never want any more children.
I am still hoping I'm going to wake up from this nightmare...
I will never understand why we have to go through such difficult losses, NEVER! I am just misting up as I write this to you, my heart just breaks. Im just hoping that you can heal from this in your own way and in your own time. Whether or not you decide to have another doesnt matter right now. Greive your precious baby and do what you need to do to heal. I wish i could give you a hug or take away your pain
I am so sorry. Losing a baby is never easy. Im glad you were able to hold your beautiful daughter but Im sorry she was lost. I hope when the time is right you'll be blessed with a new miracle. Im sure Whitney is watching down on you and will make sure all goes well.