inconsiderate, unkind people *rant* (m/c & mature topic ment.)

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inconsiderate, unkind people *rant* (m/c & mature topic ment.)

I walked onto campus this morning at 8 am (not my best time of day), and was immediatly confronted with a huge anti-abortion board featuring an aborted fetus. This thing was gigantic, I'm talking twenty feet or so. And located in an area of campus that you really cannot avoid seeing it. I had to run to the closest building and hide in the bathroom while I cried myself out. And I was late for class. Of course the gigantic sign was then the topic of conversation for the day.
While I respect that people have a right to express their opinions on such matters, is it really necessary to do so in such a...large manner? Do these people not realize how hurtful seeing something like that may be, not only to a person who was forced to terminate a pregnancy but also to someone who m/c? That a woman who did loose her child, no matter the circumstances, may not appreciate having to see an aborted fetus blown up to twenty feet? That the reminder of what was lost is unecessary and painful? Did they think that they are on a hospital campus, and that pregnant women might walk past that, that women who miscarried might see it? Do they not care, or did they simply not think?
okay, rant over. I feel better....a little.

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I am so sorry you had to see that. I worked by a hospital and they had them on the streets everyday. I understand how you feel as it is hard to see, and this was years ago even before I lost a baby. It is the pros and cons of having freedom of speech.

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Yeah.... honestly, I don't think they have thought that far, how hurtful it might be to someone else. Sucks! Hugs hon. I would have crumbled for sure.

sunnycrest's picture
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Urgh. Yeah I would have been upset by that. I am not anti-abortion but a full on picture like that would have been awful to see. HUGS.

I also hate the pregnancy tickers that people have with the pictures of the fetus on. They just unsettle me.

Hugs all round. xx

Sapphire Sunsets's picture
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:bighug:

I got the same type of sign going to a u/s for my youngest. It was near the courthouse. I remember getting wicked upset and all the emotions that were running through my head. I had already had a m/c, stillborn and pre-termer and was going for u/s's every other wk just to make sure i didn't go early again. It felt like a slap in the face to me.

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It's not even the anti-abortion/pro-abortion argument that gets to me. It is the fact that there is a 25 foot picture of an aborted fetus in the middle of campus. It's hurtful. And there are better ways to make a point, ways that don't involve gigantic, graphic signs. There are ways to debate a point without making the point a slap in the face, without hurting people unthinkingly.
And the stupid sign is still there, now with people marching around it holding their babies. Which is another thing I haven't quite figured out how to deal with yet. Pregnant women and babies, every time I see one or the other it is like a punch to the....uterus.

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yeah, pregnant women and babies are killer for me. I find myself avoiding aisles they are shopping on, and looking away. It sucks.

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I don't think the even know the angle some of us are coming from. I mean, they are not targetting most of the people who are hurt by these things. Without getting into the abortion issue too much, they were trying to offend people who chose to terminate (perhaps unjustly). Maybe someone should talk to them about all the women who didn't choose to abort, whose bodies did it without thier consent. I mean, you can't argue pro-choice with pro-life people, oe visa versa. It's like arguing religion. A giant waste of time. But you could talk to them about how thier modes of communication effect people they don't want to target. Your right, there are other ways to make a point. Grown up, not quite so angry and hurtfull ways. I lost my babies through m/c. Pro-life people have no beef with me and yet, just thinking of that sign makes me cringe. I'd probably have cried my eyes out too. I don't think that's helping them gain support. THey should be told. Not that it's your job or anything. Don't take it that way. I'm sorry for your crummy day and the terrible reminder.

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long m/c termination mnt

Those people do have a beef with me. I did "choose" to terminate, not that there was much of a choice. 70% chance that I would miscarry and of that 70% nearly a 60% chance that I would burst a tube. About 45% of women who burst a tube bleed to death. That makes a 18.9% chance that I would have died versus the 30% chance I could have carried to term. And death was worst case, I ended up with a salpingo-oophorectomey. Arguing with those people does little good, they say that I killed my baby. Part of me agrees, but most of me really didn't want to die. Or lose my fallopian tube. But the way they choose to argue is like the American media, shock value. So in your face and no real logical debate behind it. And they don't realize who they are hurting in the process of "getting their message across". Women who have not terminated, who m/c naturally. Women walking onto the hospital campus for an obgyn appointment who are emotional from pregnancy and are confronted with that. And women who made an incredibly difficult decision. Yeah, I could have waited and according to them then it would be my baby died, not I killed my baby. And somehow that is okay. But there are times when you really don't have a choice, at least not a logical one. Just because I made a decision that they didn't agree with doesn't mean I liked the decision I made. The decision was the most difficult I've ever made and it tore me apart, and still is. I don't think they realize that it is not always a choice. That sometimes the consequences of not terminating are too much, not just in my case but in many other cases. And I appreciate that they have a right to express their opinions, but I don't think they should have the right to dole out some much hurt in the process.

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Unless we walk mile in someone else's shoes we do not know how they feel. I can not even begin to understand the emotional struggle you had. I agree with not having pictures. They are trying to get their point across with the use of fear.

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I'm so sorry for you. I can't imagine having to see that after making such a terribly hard "choice". I am so thankful that I didn't have to make such a decision. It's amazing how people feel the need to judge a situation they will probably never have to bad luck to deal with on any personal level. My family (on my hubby's side) is always joining facebook groups and inviting me to join that are based around pro-life. Some of them are terrible, mean and hateful groups. It drives me nuts and I'm not going through what you are. Again, I'm so sorry.

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I have had to make the same choice, I had an ectopic as well and I didn't want to terminate, but dying wasn't really an option either. :bighug: I KWYM with that particular hurt & the way people only wnt to look at the termination, not the fact there wasn't really any logical choice.
:bighug: I am so sorry you're dealing with this.

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It is a horrible choice to have to make. It feels like I denied my baby that 30% chance at life. Yeah, I also denied to 20% chance that I would die, but sometimes it's difficult to see that. And having people marching around telling me that I killed my baby is not something I need, or any woman who has made the decision to terminate for whatever reason needs. I cannot imagine any woman has ever made the decision without going through a lot of hurt. There are times when there really is NO choice that makes any sense. I think people need to realize that before they judge, but there is no way for them to realize how much a "choice" can hurt unless they go through it themselves. Which is not something I would wish on any woman.

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Honey, try to refocus your thinking. You did not kill you baby, you chose to save your life. I know it hurts when people say cruel things but they are just idiots in yhour situation would probably have chosen they same thing. Poeple talk all high and mighy until they are faced with the same situation. What would that mom do if her young daughter was standing in your shoes? My guess, is she would choose to save her daughter's life over the thought of making her go on with a pregnancy that would probably kill her. Hang in there!