Insensitive comment from FIL (PG ment)

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Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
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Insensitive comment from FIL (PG ment)

HI ladies. I know I haven't posted lately, but I have been lurking and posting ocassionally.

My inlaws are visiting and I saw them at Thanksgiving and no one said anything to me at all about my loss and my stupid SIL kept going on and on about her pg and announcing things like "Now is the time for me to take my prenatal vitamin" etc. It was rough.

Now they are visiting and are having a cocktail. I said no thanks and FIL said, "hey, you're not pregnant anymore, you can have a drink"


How insensitive can you get?

thanks for letting me vent

putney1477's picture
Last seen: 6 years 1 month ago
Joined: 01/03/07
Posts: 42

Ouch!! That IS insensitive. I'm sorry...some people (family or not) don't think what they're saying will hurt. But that's no excuse.



Last seen: 7 years 11 months ago
Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I just can't keep my mouth shut when someone shouts out an insensitive remark.....Did you say something to FIL??

I know sometimes people just say stupid things without thinking....That said, a reminder to them every so often when this happens is always good imo.

I am sorry you are dealing with sil as well Sad I am sure she is just excited about her pregnancy..And if she has never had a loss, she is just clueless...

I know it doesn't make it any easier knowing this..I wish it did..Sending many :bighug: your way.


~ Sherri ~'s picture
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 7

yeah the comments hurt when people say things they shouldn't.... I do think your SIL is being very insensitive, kind of like she's rubbing it in....but your FIL is just being a man. I have found that men don't know how to deal with stuff like this, they say stupid things and don't realize it, and I've learned to take anything a man says about this stuff, with a giant grain of salt. (I don't mean to be "man-bashing"... but it's true! they really are from mars.)

of course that doesn't make it hurt less. hugs to you.

Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yeah that was crappy. ITA with a PP, the men just don't get it. Even as supportive and wonderful as my DH has been, he still just doesn't get it. Sometimes we just need them to be as sad as we are, but they are mostly just sad for us. That is quick to pass.

troynicole's picture
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 12/06/07
Posts: 151

I think I would've snapped back with a comment and thrown a drink in his face! You are nice if you didn't respond...but I do agree, men don't think about things like that. Hopefully he will get reamed by someone else for saying it. As for your SIL, I think I would say something to her if she continues or maybe try not to be around her so much right now. I'm sure she is excited but still...


Last seen: 4 years 4 days ago
Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 250

Sorry you had to deal with that. I agree- if you didnt say something I think I would.


shellyhudson's picture
Last seen: 6 years 6 months ago
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. You have a lot more tact than I do. I would have basically went off on both of them. To the SIL, I would have said something along the lines of yes, and I would give anything to have to take one now. Be thankful. As for the FIL comment, I would most likely have said something that just cannot be printed here. I am so so sorry that you had to deal with those two.


Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Forgive his ignorance...and lack of compassion. Some people have no common sense...we can add his name to the list.

Last seen: 5 years 3 months ago
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371


I feel for you. They just don't get it unless they get a membership to our club. Like the only reason someone chooses not to have a drink is because of Pg!


Lily Maria Kathleen :angel1:August 10, 2007