Intro-new here (pg, m/c, TTC, mentioned) long

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meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263
Intro-new here (pg, m/c, TTC, mentioned) long

Hi...My DH (39) and I (27) have been TTC for about 20 months. He previously had a vasecotomy and had a reversal in Jan 2008. After about 9 months of TTC we decided to seek the help of an RE. We were told he has an antisperm antibody which resulted from the vasectomy. We attempted 2 IUI's w/clomid which ended in BFN. Our RE told us we pretty much had no chance with these, but we felt it was worth an attempt before moving to IVF. We did our 1st IVF cycle. With that cycle I got 6 eggs, 3 mature and 2 fertilized. The 2 embryos quit growing before transfer, so that cycle was a bust. Our next cycle we tried a different protocol and got 10 eggs, 4 mature and 2 fertilized. The 2 embryos were slow growing but made it to transfer. We transferred both. On 6/27 we got our BFP!!! I had an u/s at 6w6d and saw baby and the heartbeat. Went back for another u/s 2 weeks later at 9wks and baby quit growing and there was no heartbeat. We were devastated. I had a D&C on 8/3. We are doing genetic testing on the baby to see what caused the m/c. My RE has come to the conclusion I have diminished ovarian reserve d/t the poor response of my IVF cycles. We asked him if he thought any testing was necessary (since I haven't had any blood tests done on me ever) and he said no, it's pretty obvious.

My DH and I have decided to take a break TTC w/treatments and are going to try naturally for about a year. I am going to start taking DHEA and DH is taking vitamins, supplements and steroids (prednisone) also. If after a year we are not pregnant, we need to make the decision to try IVF again with our own eggs or move to donor eggs. I am getting some cd3 blood testing done by my ob/gyn since I want some sort of diagnosis. I don't want to just "assume." My RE told me the next step is DE. My RE is very unsupportive and herds pts in and out of there like cattle. They are not very personable at all. We have made the decision to seek a 2nd opinion (even if that means traveling 7 hours) and will not do any treatments at our old RE unless it is monitoring for another clinic or if we use a known egg donor.

I can tell that this is a very supportive group of ladies. I am doing better emotionally since my m/c. The first week and a half was horrible for me. I couldn't see past the present. I didn't think things would get better. My DH kept telling me it will get better. His first wife passed away suddenly at the age of 32 so I knew what he was talking about. If he could get through the death of his spouse, there was a way for me to get through my loss. I think this m/c has hit be hard since it took us so much to get pregnant and it's going to take that much if not more to get pregnant again. I feel very angry and bitter. We had tried everything. I think to myself "Why did God have to take our baby? We loved it so much already." I feel like a horrible person for thinking the things I do. Not a day goes by that I don't think about our baby or my pregnancy. Everyday I think "I would've been ___ weeks pregnant." I was planning on telling our friends last Wed. That day was really hard for me. I think every pregnant lady can't wait to tell their friends and I never got the chance to. Thursday would've been 12 wks and able to stop my progesterone shots. I would've made it past another major milestone. I feel I am also grieving the loss of my fertility since I was pretty much told I'd never have a child that is genetically mine.

I see that a lot of ppl had a follow-up appt following their m/c. I have not had an appt. My RE didn't even mentioned me coming back there. All he said was for me to call a week after my D&C, which I didn't do since I was so angry with them. It is my opinion that they can call me for a follow-up call.

Enough of my rambling. I hope to meet lots of ladies on here that can help me through my struggle.

Meg

Legal Gal's picture
Joined: 06/24/09
Posts: 56

(m/c mentioned)

Hi Meg. Glad to hear you are doing better. I think my hopefulness (and inability to m/c) prolonged my ability to grieve. I am at that point right now that you mentioned, where I can't see past right now. My only goal is to make it to work every day. But my family and friends are calling daily, and my ex-SO has actually been checking in, too. It's good to hear that maybe in a few weeks I will feel better. It is difficult when you have not had many losses. I've never lost anyone really close to me, so this whole process is new to me. And I too am doing the whole...I'd be 12weeks along right now. I can't help it. Guess it is part of the process.

Anyways, I am rambling because I can't sleep, but just wanted to say hi. -- Leah

sunny_gal's picture
Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 494

I'm sorry Meg :bigarmhug: I'm glad you are doing better emotionally after all you've been through, and that you are finding some support through this board. It was (and still is) a great help to me during my two losses. Even though my last loss was back on 09/23/08, I still do the 'if my little girl had made it, she'd be ___ old right now...' etc. It's so hard. Know that you're not alone. Hang in there!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry for your loss. I did the whole infertility stuff and when you lose a baby it is just like adding salt to your would. Look into Vitex if you are going natural.
Preg ment

I was taking prednisone as I had a flare up of Fibro. It so happened I took it around the time I "O"ed, not thinking. I got pregnant, we had just adopted Jonathan so I was not tryhing. I lost the baby at 5 weeks. I figure, WTH and did it again and got pregnant the next cycle, only to lose the baby at 8 weeks. So third time was the charm and Alex was born at almost 9 lbs three week early. Hang in there.

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

I've looked into Fertilaid which has Vitex in it. From what I could tell through research was if you have regular cycles, it can make you irregular. If you have irregular cycles it can make you regular. If anyone has any experience with it, let me know. I get Fertilaid for my DH. He is going to be taking prednisone for a few cycles to see if it can help with his antisperm antibodies. I am going to start DHEA, which can also improve egg quality.

missy8632...Do you think the prednisone helped you get pregnant? You are right about struggling with IF then having a m/c. You get hit with both of the worsts.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
TTC ment

You can get Vitex only, I have not used fertaide stuff. I buy my stuff from puritains pride.
I would take Vitex for the while cycle and Primrose until I Oed.

It is too werid that I did a number of cycles of Clomid, four cycles of injections, moved on to adoption, and then not pregnant three times in a row. I also have an autoimmune disorder called APA. It causes my body to reject the baby and causes blood clots between the uterus and the placenta. I took daily injection of blood thinners once I got pregnant.
There is a lot of research out there on drinking soy mile too. I would just check with your doctor before you start anything if you are taking any Rx drugs.

Take time to heal. I HATED when peope told me to nrelax and let it happen. But, in some cases I think that is true. Yes, I did take prednisone and timed out BD, but that was it as I was too busy with Jonathan. I think you need to be in a good mental place and healed before you start your next jounry. PM me if you have any question.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

I'm so sorry.

m/c ment.
I was due the same day as you (I remember from the March 2010) board and found out my baby had no heartbeat at the 12 week 4 day ultrasound. I had a D+C yesterday, which was by far the most traumatic and painful experience of my life (I'll post about it on here).

You should definitely get a second opinion from another Dr and listen to the advice of these ladies.

Legal Gal's picture
Joined: 06/24/09
Posts: 56

Meg,

Have heard from you in a while...how are you doing?

Leah

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

Hi Meg,

I remember you from the March 2010 board. So sorry we are both here, and I hope you're doing well. The ladies here seem very supportive.

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

I'm doing a lot better than I was. Things are getting easier but I still have my rough days. I started a devotional book that helps with infertility, m/c. My DH and I sit down every night and do it, it gives us some time to reflect together. I am going to start taking yoga to help destress and relax and possibly help with fertility. I got first AF after my d&c exactly 4 wks later and had a cd3 fsh, e2 and amh done, but am still waiting for results. When I registering for my b/w the person asked who the ordering doc was and we told her and she said "is congratulations in order?" My DH and I both said "no." Then she started laughing and said "that's funny." That really hurt me. My DH and I both work at the hospital we were at and we knew the lady. Idk what was funny, the fact we weren't pregnant. I started my dhea and DH started his fertilaid so we will see if a natural miracle comes our way soon. Depending on how out of line my ovarian function looks will decide if we get a 2nd opinion sooner than later. Then it's the decision of finding the right doc. We're looking to find the best doc even if that means traveling across the country.

Here is what I posted on another board after getting my genetic test results:

I had a msg on my cell from my RE telling me that he had the genetic testing results. It came back abnormal for Turner's Syndrome-a 45X chromosomal abnormality. It is hard getting those results to know that we were in the 10% of m/c that result from Turner's Syndrome. He said that we are not at an increased risk of it happening again. I guess I am relieved that it was not an egg or sperm issue. It breaks my heart to know that this would've been our little girl. I joked that that must be all my DH knows how to make since that would've made four girls for him. I don't know if this is worth doing PGD if we try IVF again with my eggs, or if the risk is so minimal it wouldn't be worth it.

Again, I am mad at my RE. To me that should've been a msg saying "call me back when you get this." Not give me my results on a voicemail left on my cellphone. Grrrrr!

How is everyone else doing? I think about everyone a lot.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hugs, doctors have so much schooling and yet are idiots in many ways. I'm glad that you were able to get some answers. I have done some research, as some of the women on the board have lost babies to Turner's. From what I read, it is a "unlucky" chain of events that leads to Turners and not anything genetic. Hang in there.

Legal Gal's picture
Joined: 06/24/09
Posts: 56

I know what you mean. I feel like the nurses at my doc's office need some sensitivity counseling. I called hysterical after being ignored all week (I called asking for a psychiatric referral), and the second nurse they put me through to asked if I was pregnant! Uh, no, why do you think I am crying on the phone and asking for help?! Look at my chart!

Anyways, I guess there are still many people who just don't know how to react to other people's grief. And I guess that's why it is so important that we have each other to vent to on this board...

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

Doctors can be so frustrating. I'm still dealing with my m/c mainly because of the lack of response from my previous doctor. And in talking with my new doctor she realized my last m/c - back in February - wasn't even on my chart! It happened before my first appointment which would have been at 8 weeks so I went in and had bloodwork done just to be sure it would be documented on my chart. She saw the bloodwork and rechecked my chart and realized they never made any note of it.

I'm glad you got answers and I love your positive attitude.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Sorry I'm so late posting on this but I could have sworn I posted a reply previously. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through and wanted to give hugs. :bighug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Honey, hang in there. I am glad you are reaching out for help. As I said before, doctors go to college for so long they lost the ability to think like a human sometimes. Do not let this idiot nurse keep you from getting help. PM me if you need to talk, I am always here.