First off, I apologize for being long winded here and for the TMI info.
My name is Marcy and I am going through a miscarriage. It's just such a strange thing...
I am feeling a little lost and was happy to come to this board and was hoping to get some support/advice, etc. as well as to get my story off my chest.
I was 10 weeks pregnant. I had been spotting (pink and brown) throughout and had some cramping, but both times I had ultrasounds, we saw a heartbeat. Starting last Friday, I started bleeding red with clots...obviously not much I could do over the weekend, so, this past Monday, I went to the doctor. First, she did a vaginal ultrasound and, after looking for, I believe, at least 2 minutes, she found nothing. Then, an abdominal u/s found the sac. a final vaginal u/s found the sac, fetus and no heartbeat.
So, some time between October 15 and, I guess Friday, the little one's heart stopped.
I don't know what to make of all this. I'm numb and heartbroken and confused. I wanted him. I want him. He needs a mommy. But it's not going to happen. At least in this life.
I don't really understand what is happening in my body, or what the course of miscarriage is. I know I'm bleeding very heavily and, today, the cramps have been horrible. I'm not sure if the baby has passed through yet or how long the bleeding will continue. I end up analyzing every piece of tissue i pass. I apologize to sound like a drama queen, but, it sickens me to know that my baby was flushed down a toilet...
I hear of people having a miscarriage ("she had a miscarriage") and it always sounded like this one time event. But, I am having a miscarriage---a long drawn out process, where I have to live out every second of it. None of this is what I planned or expected. I hate it.
I am grateful for a wonderful husband who, after having a similar conversation with him as I just wrote, said he wished he could be going through this for me. i also have a beautiful daughter who is my everything.
I guess my questions are how long does this last? How long can I expect to bleed/have pain? Is this normal? When should I plan on going back to work?
thank you so much for reading.