It's been one month today. Most of the time I'm doing alright. Now and then, feelings kind of creep up on me. Especially at night, or at the mall. You know, when your defences are down and you're not expecting it. I'm still so sad. But, there are other times when life is normal again. I'm working (even if I'm cleaning houses instead of teaching) and I'm trying to get involved in clubs and such (we're new here so I don't know many people yet). Sometimes, I desperatly want to go home to Ontario (we're in Edmonton) and other times I'm very glad I'm not there dealing with everyone i've ever known. April has been a horrendous month. I lost my baby. My house back home sold (after major complications that just ended today on closing date) we're in massive debt because of the house and my lack of decent paying work. My DH went away for a week on training for a new job and I've been trying to keep up with teacher applications and just trying to be normal. I'm so glad this month is over. Yet, I know that tomorrow isn't going to be any different really. it's just another day. I'm depressed today. I felt like reaching out. You guys have been so good with the support. Like I said, some days are normal. Some days suck. Today sucks.
Hun it does get easier. Im sorry you are having a rough time. I have had my bad moments and cry like a baby. I lost it when I went to the ER last night and I cant go to a certain one because my dd passed there.
I am so sorry you are having a tough time right now. You are right it does it easier. Tomorrow will be 7 weeks since we lost Abby. I think about her all the time but yet I do not get as depressed. (((hugs))) Tori
((hugs)) It's really normal, the depression you're going through -- there's just so much going on in your life right now -- no kidding it 'sucks'. But life does swing around in a positive cycle again (life seems to work that way -- in cycles), and I reckon you're due for a major positive one . Please keep the faith -- it will get better, and it sounds like you're doing the very best you can during such an awfully hard time.
I'm glad you've 'checked in' here. We're going to help you through this, and you will shift through the stages of grief more quickly by reaching out like you're doing right now. It's a very healing thing to do.
You can also grieve and honour your baby by: planting a tree, naming your baby, getting a piece of "loss jewellery" , etc, etc. All of these things help too. Remember that the people here on this board are a wealth of information -- we're really here for you.