I've never wanted to be apart of this....

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nurahjennah's picture
Joined: 05/22/08
Posts: 62
I've never wanted to be apart of this....

Ive never ever ever wanted to be apart of this board but now i guess i am.. i was 10 w preg and was due on may 7th 2009.... i started bleeding around oct 11 and then found out after days of bed rest with an u/s baby never devloped at 6w. no heartbeat only fetal pole.. i am so heartbroken. i feel so empty now.. i love my other 2 children very much but feel empty.. and i search everywhere on the internet but i really dont want to wait 3months to get pregnant again.. i know you have to heal after d& c and stuff but just a question how quickly can you get preg again after?

Joined: 04/29/07
Posts: 13

I'm so sorry for your loss. When I lost my Oct 2007 baby in February 2007. I was told to wait 3 months but I conceived my December 2007 son in April 2007.

sunny_gal's picture
Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 494

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I just lost a baby at 17 weeks on September 23, 2008 and my doctor told me to wait for three months before conceiving again... but mostly because I was so far along. I've also heard that you should wait 3 months if you had a D&C.

In the meantime, I hope this board helps with your healing process. It certainly has helped mine!

Hang in there.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so very sorry for your loss. Most doctors ask that you wait not only for physical reasons but to allow yourself time to mourn your loss. But, discuss your feelings with your OB and see what he says.

Joined: 04/21/06
Posts: 96

I am so sorry for you loss. When I loss Abby I felt so empty inside also. People kept telling me to be thankful that I have other living children. Yes I was thankfun but it sure did not dull that pain any. ((Hugs))) We are all here if you need anything.
Tori

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I'm so sorry to see you here. Sad Take the time to mourn your loss. I was advised by my ob two wait 2 cycles after the d&c, both times.

babyfreill's picture
Joined: 07/13/06
Posts: 23

I am so sad for you. :bighug:

I just lost my baby a month ago at 11 1/2 weeks. I didn't have a D&C but had to use cytotec, the baby's heart had stopped at 10w. My Dr. said he wanted me to wait one cycle before we TTC. But because I was using fertility meds it'll be the end of Nov before we can TTC again....which will be about 2 months after my m/c

lotusblossom23's picture
Joined: 09/23/08
Posts: 23

i am very sorry for your loss..i would suggest you speak to your OB....originally my OB said to wait 2 cycles..not only for physical reasons but also emotional..when i went for my follow up..my OB said that once i get AF i am free to start TTC again.which would just be one cycle...but i have heard of people get pregnant the cycle right after and have a healthy baby so it just depends but i'd definitely talk to your OB...

jenners319617's picture
Joined: 12/27/07
Posts: 236

I agree with pp, talk with your doctor. They should be able to take a look at your body and give you a range of how long you should wait. I know most people say 1-3 cycles. At least one usually so they can determine a due date from last AF. I hope your cycles return to normal quickly and you get some answers you are seeking.

I lost our little girl at 19 weeks about 5 weeks ago but we aren't allowed to DTD until I go back for my 6 week follow up, I'm hoping to get some answers then.

I'm so sorry you have to be here with us and so sorry for your loss!
:bigarmhug:

Joined: 10/09/04
Posts: 74

:bighug: I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had a very similar story with my latest loss - was due 3rd May and m/c at 10w1d, babe stopped developing around 6.5w.

l/c ment

I too have 2 children. I've had losses both before and since having children and I don't feel that one is any easier than the other. My dad passed a comment after this latest loss about how he knows I have two lovely kids, but that doesn't make it ok that I lost this little one. I find that comment far easier to cope with than those people who tell me to just focus on the kids I have, like I should brush aside this loss like it didn't even happen.

As for waiting, I'd say get specific advice from your Ob. I've only every been advised to wait one cycle (mainly for dating) but I've either waited for spontaneous m/c or had medical treatment, never a d&c.

Joined: 10/19/08
Posts: 9

I'm so sorry. Nobody should have to go through this. My doctor told me 3 cycles before trying again. I'm not ready right now so that is OK. Talk to your doctor if you have concerns. It doesn't matter that you had other children, you lost a baby. Allow yourself the time to grieve. Sending hugs.

Peggy

healinghandz1's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 32
m/c and pg ment

I m/c my first pregnancy back in March. I got very depressed. I stopped all hobbies, I stopped carrying about what my house and yard looked like, I forgot birthdays, and if I could of afforded to quite my job I would of. I constantly checked my old BB looking for u/s and belly pic's. The only thought that kept me going was waiting out that 3 cyles to TTC again. Well I got pg that third cycle. It didn't help! I wasn't ready, I hadn't come to peace with my loss. I couldn't enjoy my first trimester at all, I was so scared. I didn't tell anyone but DH and my Mom until I was 16wks (that was only a few weeks ago). I'm starting to get over the fear of another loss a little more now, but the slightest cramp sends me into a frenzy. I wish I would of waited 6months to a year. Although we are extremely happy about this baby, I think if I would of waited longer it would of been much more enjoyable.

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

How are you doing? Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.

Lace's picture
Joined: 11/20/03
Posts: 27

I had a D&C in June and the OB advised me to wait 3 cycles. We intended to wait 4-5 but I got pg after 2 and am in the midst of a second m/c. I wish we had waited a little longer b/c these two losses this close together are extremely difficult. We are planning to wait 6 months this time.

allyinthevalley's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 66

I'm sorry for your loss. I went through something similar, having two children already... People expect it to be easier, but it isn't. You've still lost a child that you love, and it's still heartbreaking. I just passed the three month anniversary of my loss, and honestly I think that the three months are recommended mostly for emotional recovery. It's important to mourn your lost baby. Please do keep that in mind when decided when to start TTC again.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It really depends on the OB. I had a D&C back in August and my OB said it was fine to TTC again right away if I felt comfortable. We did TTC right away, it was hard that very first time DTD but got easier. I am sad to say that neither cycle took, but if I had gotten preg before my cycle started they would have just dated the baby based upon the d&c date and an early US. The OB said that not waiting or waiting would have no bearing on whether or not I would MC again in the future and wouldnt make it any more likely because I have had a D&C. I hope that helps you. Again, wait until you are ready and your body will follow. Big hugs to you. It doesnt do any good having kids or not, a loss is just as difficult.

nurahjennah's picture
Joined: 05/22/08
Posts: 62

Thnx everyone.. things are somewhat better but emotionally i still cry . how long does it take the bleeding to stop though cuz it seems it goes away and then next day i spot very lightly? thnx for all of your support everyone.

lotusblossom23's picture
Joined: 09/23/08
Posts: 23

I began to bleed on Sept. 30th at 6 weeks 3 days...i ended up miscarrying on Oct. 2nd and i bled up until about the 5th of October....soooo about 6 days of bleeding total for me..

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It could take a while to stop bleeding. If it is very heavy, call your doctor.
You do not live to far away from me! I can come give you a hug if you need one.