Just found out I had a m/c

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Wife2tj's picture
Joined: 08/19/07
Posts: 5
Just found out I had a m/c

We just got back from the ER. I was only 4 weeks 4 days preg. Due 7-16. We were thrilled as we had been TTC for about 6 years. We finally started seeing a specialist and after our first IUI got preg. I had some bleeding today and cramping it got worse. I went to the hospital and the bleeding got worse and I had clotting. They did a preg. test and it came back negative and they let me know I was having a miscarriage. Right now I am in a lot of physical and emotional pain. Me and dh are pretty torn up about this right now. I took tomorrow off of work and started taking my pain medication. I just don't know what to think. I feel like I am finally starting to get better, and then I have to tell someone and I start crying over and over again. I just don't know if I can get preg. again and have to go through this again, I don't know how i'll handle that. My family all lives far away so I don't have them nearby for support either. I just want to crawl up into bed and not wake up for a few days. I hope things will eventually get better. Thanks for listening. I will make an appt to see a OBGYN tomm and then call the Reproductive Endocrinolgist and see where they want to go from here....

sweetpetunia's picture
Joined: 08/31/06
Posts: 76

I'm so very sorry for you loss. :bigarmhug:


Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am so sorry you lost your baby Sad Try and take things one day at a time...You will know what you both want, when the time comes....We are all here for you..Sending lots of :bighug: your way..


shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am, however, thankful that you found this board. It has been a great help to me more times than I can mention. Please, give yourself time to grieve. I am not saying you will or will not ever want to TTC again. I am saying that you need to let yourself experience these emotions. They are "normal". You may finally reach a point where you want to try again. You and your husband may decide that adoption is the way to go. Who knows. You don't have to decide anything at all right now. Please, please, do not rush back to work to try and "get back on track". Trust yourself to know what you need.

I will warn you that others may not know how to react and will end up saying things that are not meant to be hurtful but will cut you to the core. Please try to remember that they are trying to be helpful. Unfortunately unless you have lost a child you do not fully understand the power of simple statements that just should not be said. Yes, I said you have lost a child and it doesn't matter how far along you were. You are a mother and your husband is a father. You just have an angel baby instead of one in your arms.

I pray that you find peace, serenity, and strength.
Please tell your husband that he is in our hearts and minds as well.

Wife2tj's picture
Joined: 08/19/07
Posts: 5

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am taking this week one day at a time. I hate to feel this way, but right now I don't know what is worse the physical or emotional pain. I am in so much physical pain the pain med's they gave aren't helping its making it hard to emotionally grieve right now.

We are both just a wreck. I know one day we'll try again, but I can't image ever having to go through this again. I am so glad I found this board and can get support from those who understand. THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your words-Samantha

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry for your loss. :bighug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm sorry for your loss and the heartache that comes with it. Sad
It's even more awful to go through it alone far away from your family.

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

My DH and i decided that we definately weren't going to TTC again after we suffered our second loss because we couldnt imagine going through that pain again. Now, it's almost ten weeks later and we have changed our minds.

It's definately a risk, and now we know that things can and do go wrong, but i am hoping that (God willing) when we get to take a baby home for keeps it will be worth it.


flutterby4's picture
Joined: 09/04/07
Posts: 219

I am so sorry for your loss. DH and I aren't ready to TTC again yet, but we are talking about it and that's a start. I believe all the ladies here who have told me that when the excitement of being pregnant again is more than the worry, then you are ready. You'll know when it is time, but take the time for yourself to heal. I'm sorry you have a need for this board, but grateful that you found it.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this hon. It's just not fair Sad I hope you can eventually find peace


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can find some comfort in this board--it has helped me. I am sorry that you don't have your family around but we are here!


Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. This is a good place to come for support. We have all had similar experiences and it is good to know that you are not alone.

I am so sorry that you are in such physical pain as well. It is all so unfair.