Just need a place to grieve

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shellyhudson's picture
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Just need a place to grieve

My name is Shelly. I am 34 and on 31 July of this year my beautiful little boy, Damien Michael, was still born (supposedly) from placental abruption complications. I was exactly 37 weeks on the morning that I delivered. I went into what I thought was regular labor on the thirtieth and around 8:30 in the evening was admitted to the hosptial. Around 11 things started going horrible wrong and at 12:13 am my little angel was delivered via emergency caesarean. As of right now, there are so many unanswered questions and doubts about my care received that my husband is looking into a wrongful death/malpractice suit. Unfortunately, I cannot be the one to bring the lawsuit (although I will definitely testify) because an active duty service member cannot sue the military hospital for treatment that was received. Any way, I just wanted to introduce myself to you ladies. Thank you for your ear.

shelly

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Shelly,
I am so sorry for your loss :bigarmhug: and I am sorry that your care was not better. That is so disheartening. I hope You and your DH are able to find some answers. This is a very supportive board. We will always be here to listen.
Much Love
Sarah

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Sorry to hear about your loss. :bigarmhug:

I too have had many problems with military hostpitals.

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Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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:bigarmhug:
Oh Shelly, I'm so sorry to hear about the lost of your precious child. No words will ever replace your child but know that you're in my thoughts.

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((HUGS)) I'm so sorry, no mother should ever have to go through lossing a child.

Heather

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Hey there sweetie. I am so sorry for your loss.

:bighug:

You will know my story from the PM i sent, but i wanted to add that we too considered taking some form of action against the NHS, but when we thought about it we decided not to. Things are difficult here with the NHS. Resources are already stretched and any money that they used to investigate our case, or even pay us in compensation (not that that would have happened) would have come directly away from treating other people and we didnt want that. On saying that though, things are very different in the States, i know that.

I hope you dont mind me asking. Did you have any diagnosed problems with your placenta at all? Was it low at any point? The reason i ask is that they said that they told me i had had an abruption at first, and i thought this for 3 months, but then when we went to our debriefing in January it turned out that it was Vasa Praevia instead. The symptoms of Vasa Praevia are very similar to an abruption, but the abruption is more common, so they thought it was that.

Again, i am sincerely sorry for the painful loss of your baby. Please continue to post here whenever you feel the need. Unfortunately we all know what it's like to loose a baby, and i know what it's like to get so close to the end, like you.

:giveflower:

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I'm so terribly sorry. My thoughts are with you.
-Kit

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I am so sorry for your loss and what you have went through!

Bonnie

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Shelly Im so sorry for the loss of your precious baby.

shellyhudson's picture
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"uropachild" wrote:

Hey there sweetie. I am so sorry for your loss.

:bighug:

You will know my story from the PM i sent, but i wanted to add that we too considered taking some form of action against the NHS, but when we thought about it we decided not to. Things are difficult here with the NHS. Resources are already stretched and any money that they used to investigate our case, or even pay us in compensation (not that that would have happened) would have come directly away from treating other people and we didnt want that. On saying that though, things are very different in the States, i know that.

I hope you dont mind me asking. Did you have any diagnosed problems with your placenta at all? Was it low at any point? The reason i ask is that they said that they told me i had had an abruption at first, and i thought this for 3 months, but then when we went to our debriefing in January it turned out that it was Vasa Praevia instead. The symptoms of Vasa Praevia are very similar to an abruption, but the abruption is more common, so they thought it was that.

Again, i am sincerely sorry for the painful loss of your baby. Please continue to post here whenever you feel the need. Unfortunately we all know what it's like to loose a baby, and i know what it's like to get so close to the end, like you.

:giveflower:

we had thought about not trying to bring a lawsuit until we found out that our child was the third ob related death in under 45 days at this hospital. Two babies and one mother have passed. As for the placenta, there were no problems of any kind noted until we actually had the caesarean section. again, thank you (and everyone else) for your thoughts and concerns.

shelly

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Shelly,

I am so sorry for the devastating loss that you have suffered... Sad

This board has been a great healing place for many, many, women.....I am so sad that you have had to join us, but glad that you have found us :comfort:

Please KUP on how all is going with your potential lawsuit?? I have been in a lawsuit with a doctor/big corporation before....I would suggest you gather as much info as possible, prior to them being tipped off in anyway regarding a possible lawsuit.....Get copies of everything you can get your hands on....Just say you like to keep your records tidy..

Marie

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Shelly, I am so very sorry to hear of your tragic loss. You are in my thoughts. :comfort:

Those numbers you gave from the hospital regarding bay and maternal deaths are shocking. I don't blame you for looking further into the matter.

:bighug:

Sarah

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"mom@41" wrote:

Shelly,

I am so sorry for the devastating loss that you have suffered... Sad

This board has been a great healing place for many, many, women.....I am so sad that you have had to join us, but glad that you have found us :comfort:

Please KUP on how all is going with your potential lawsuit?? I have been in a lawsuit with a doctor/big corporation before....I would suggest you gather as much info as possible, prior to them being tipped off in anyway regarding a possible lawsuit.....Get copies of everything you can get your hands on....Just say you like to keep your records tidy..

Marie

I have been trying to do just that. When asked why I want this information my answer is that I may decide at a later date to try one more time to have a baby. To make sure that I have the ultimate care possible I want to have a copy of my records to give to my future doctor so that they are fully informed. Otherwise, I would not be given anything as the only time you get a copy of your medical record from the navy is upon your final discharge. Shelly

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I so sorry for your loss. I wish I had words to comfort you right now. (((HUGS)))

I want to echo what Marie said, although it sounds like you are on track. I have seen way to many veterans that have "missing medical records." Make sure to jot down any notes if you see any inaccuracies in the doc reports while your memory is still fresh. The reports from my stillbirth left out vital information that made it more difficult to diagnosis my loss. I was however able to set the record straight and it helped my new doctor with my treatment for the next pregnancy.

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**Lurker**

Shelly-
First, I am very sorry for your loss. I have been following your story through the Aug birth board, my best friend was on there with you. I just want to say that I think you are an amazing woman to try to give info out to others that might need it in order to save their babies, that was very courageous of you. The world needs more people like you. I know that no words of condolence from me will help to lessen the pain you are in, but I want you to know that you and little Damien are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you all the best.

Love,
Delona

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How shocking and awful that there have been those deaths! I wish you the very best of luck in your case, and i think you have had some great advice from others regarding getting your records etc.

:bighug:

Again, you are in my thoughts.