Kind thoughts please (L/C ment & Pgn ment) (*UPDATED*)
Hello all thanks for all the thoughts and ideas. Sadly the baby didn't make it. Monday she went in to the specialist and he said it looked really bad. They wanted her to come in Tuesday for somemore testing and while there she became violently ill. Continually throwing up and cramping. They rushed her to the ER and tried to get the viomiting to stop. By Wednesday they had it eased enough but by then she was in labor. Her beautiful little boy was born wed night. Her husband is Indian so they named their little Guy Brave Raven. The hospital was wonderful to her! I had told her all about you guys and alot of the suggestions you have had and she is so glad she took them. She held him, got foot prints and everything. All because of you guys saying what helped you. Thanks for that!! The hospital gives out gowns for each baby born they even gave one to her and dressed him in it. Then put everything in a beautiful little box. She is doing ok though I don't think it has set in yet. They are donating him to research so that maybe this will not happen to anyone else. It was a hard decision but it works for them. They also took tissue from her and hubby to see if there are any genetic problems. She didn't get out of the hospital till Friday night because she started throwing up, cramping and in servere pain again right after she had him. They are not sure what was going on with her - no medicines helped. They are trying to figure it out. She basically threw up from Tuesday to Friday. It was so horrible!! Thanks to all of you wonderful ladies for giving me the insight to help her through this terrible time.
Just know that what I read here helped her. She is so glad she held him and got everything. I pray for you ladies all the time!!
Hello I am not sure if this really belongs here or not but I have read yall's stories and let me say you are some strong women!! My thoughts and prayers are with you often. I have never been through a miscarriage but I have known 2 people (my sister and my best friend) who has.
I am writing because a friend of mine is in need of prayers (or whatever your faith is) and many strong "sticky" vibes!! She is currently prg with her 2nd child. Her first is 4 yrs old - she was in a terrible realtionship then and has since divorced and found a really loving man! She has been a diabetic since 12 so hers is serious. She is currently 19 wks and they found out they are having a boy but it apprears that the baby's brain is growing on the outside of the skull. If so she will most likely lose this baby. What can I do for her? How can I help encourage (for now at least) that things may be ok but yet help her if it's not?
Like I said I am not sure if this is the place to put this but she's not on prg.org (at least yet I'm trying) and I didn't know where else to go. If I shouldn't have posted it here PLEASE forgive me! I just want to help her along in this struggle.
This was suppose to be such a happy time and now I feel so sad. I just want to help her anyway I can.
Thanks for reading this
Last edited by Chellybean; 09-02-2008 at 03:45 PM.
Can you help make her meals, watch her kiddo, clean the house? Spending time with her in whatever way you can may or maynot be comforting. Ask her if she wants someone to stay with her for a while or keep her company while she goes shopping or to the store. You are a good friend. Keep it up, she will appreciate your kind words and support. We will pray for her.
you are such a wonderful friend for asking. I don't have anything more to add to what has already been said, but wanted to say thank you for being so thoughtful for your friend. I will add both of them to my prayer list.
I think making meals and watching her older son would be very kind, and just knowing that you are there when she does need to talk about it. Honestly, there is only 1 person that I can call anytime to talk to when I am having a hard time, everyone else, yeah, I know it would be too awkward for them. Not that it is not awkward for my sister/friend, but that she is willing to talk about it.
Wow, is your friend ever lucky to have a friend like you. I'm glad you posted here -- personally, I welcome posts such as yours.
The only suggestion I can add to the ones already given, is to gently (but repeatedly) be "on her case" to get her (and her husband) to do something for their grief. Definitely, to invite her to visit the blog boards on this website -- there's even one here specifically for medical terminations, which might help them a lot.
Please encourage her and her husband to do whatever they need to do. Here are a few suggestions that could really help them:
1. see a grief counsellor;
2. join a support group (there might be one organized through your local hospital, etc);
3. rant, rave and carry on (safely!) -- the worst thing we can do is to 'stuff our grief' deep down. When we do, it only gets worse and might never go away. We need to let it go; and
4. plant a tree in her garden to honour her baby
For more support (for yourself too!) check out http://www.pilari.org/ -- it has articles (suggestions) for bereaved parents, as well as for family and friends.