Last weeks D&C/ Todays Dr appt/TTC ment

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Joined: 05/10/07
Posts: 15
Last weeks D&C/ Todays Dr appt/TTC ment

WARNING- GRAPHIC

It has been one week since my D&C. It was last Tuesday. It went by very quickly and the procedure itself wasn’t bad.. I don’t remember a thing, which is good, and I don’t remember it being that painful. I was sent home with motrin and percocet. I barely spotted after the procedure, and I was thinking “thank goodness.” The event itself is trying enough, I didn’t want any reminders… Wednesday I was feeling really well so I cleaned the house. Around 3:00 I started getting some cramps so I took some percocet. My husband came home and we went to Spiderman 3 since I was feeling so well. During the movie my stomach started hurting more. When we got home I waited an hour to take 2 more percocet because my cramps were really getting bad. 30 min after taking the second 2 percocet, I decided that maybe it was my bladder being full and thought that if I peed maybe I would feel better. When I went to the bathroom there was blood everywhere. It was just gushing and I felt so sick and was in so much pain. My husband took me to the ER where they pulled out some tissue that was sort of caught in my cervix. I guess that some was still left over from the D&C the day before. I got lots of pain meds , anti nausea drugs and anti itch drugs in the ER, so was feeling pretty well. The bleeding slowed down after the tissue was pulled out and today I am barely spotting.

So onto today. Today was my “post op” check up.. Basically to see how my mental status is doing. Do I need to see a therapist, ect? Anyway, all last week (after Wednesday night) I was doing really well. I don’t think I even cried after the ER.. We were actually talking about TTC again (after my 2 cycles- maybe just one). So today I was brought back to the doctor’s room. They put me in the exact same room that I was in when they told me my baby had died. The room is plastered in gestational fetal development posters, more so than other rooms. After they took my vitals, I was left alone… and I flipped out. I honest to God had a panic attack. I actually left the room and stood in a supply closet across the hall (the door was propped open). When the aid came back I made her put me in another room.. It was horrible. I don’t know why my doctor’s office doesn’t have a bereavement room. Pictures of fetal development is the LAST thing I want to see or THINK about right now.. AND ALL FOUR WALLS!!!!! It was horrible sitting in that room. I don’t know if any of you had ever had a panic attack, but I felt like the walls were caving in on me, literally. Even before the appointment, when I was waiting. Some girl came up to the window asking about prenatal appointments (just found out she was pregnant today)… I WAS SO MAD…..(Our DRs office waiting room is the size of a large closet, believe me I was trying not to pay attention).. I think that they should have SEPARATE waiting rooms AND bereavement rooms for people who have suffered a loss. I don’t think that they realize what torture it is… Is it just me????? Maybe I am going crazy…….. Tomorrow I have to go back to work. I work as a pediatric nurse in a pediatric clinic. I thought I was ready, honest I did. After today, I am not so sure. I was studying to be a lactation consultant. I was not even home a week after my formal course when I was told the baby had died. Now I don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to help babies, let alone LOOK at them????? This is SO hard.. I don’t think I am ever going to get over this..
I am so sorry for the soap box.
:cry: :cry: :cry:
~shannon

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

If you want advice, this is mine. Please see a therapist that can specialize in bereavement and grief. As a nurse, you know that there are several stages of grief. You (and maybe your spouse) need to go thru all of them to heal.

You are right about the insensitivity of putting you in the room where you were before. Also, I understand how hard it is to verbalize what you need at this point. Normally, you probably could tell them not to put you in a place that you are uncomfortable. Now, it is probably impossible. I know it is me.

I'm hugging you tight. Email me if you want. I am so with you.
Lisa

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sad
I know just how you feel about going back to the doctor's office. I had somewhat of a panic attack too. Mine put me in a different room for the follow up, but just being in the waiting room made me really upset and uneasy. I sat as far away from the receptionist as I could. You would think that at the very least they would not make you wait in a waiting room with pregnant women. :bigarmhug:

*pg ment*
I can also say that when I returned for a prenatal when I got pg again, The second time I went they put me in the same room I had heard about the m/c in, and I cried so hard. I'm sure the doc thought I was mental. And going for the first u/s was the hardest thing ever, walking into that u/s room. I could not even make eye contact with the tech or look at the screen. I just squeezed DH's hand until the tech told me she found the heartbeat. Before that, laying there, I really thought I was going to freak out and run out of the room.

I can't even imagine the pain of having to work in a pediatric environment afterwards. I had a hard time being with my neice and nephews for a few months. Just take your time, and don't feel bad if you need to find other work or just have some freak outs at work. I know I hid in the bathroom a few times, and stayed away from coworkers, and I am in an office environment with no kids around.

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 02/23/07
Posts: 24

Sending you *HUGS* - I too found most of the rooms at my doc's office full of reminders. I tried to always have a magazine on golf or something so I could just focus on it instead. It was hard at first but it gets easier as time goes on. I'm sorry for all that you went through and hope you find some peace.

Vickie

BLP
Joined: 02/19/07
Posts: 47

After reading your post I just realized my ob's office has NONE of that and I am so relieved! In the waiting area there are parenting mags but no pregnancy mags. There are no picture's of fetal development anywhere.
I am so sorry you had to go through all that Sad

monkeycat's picture
Joined: 07/21/06
Posts: 132

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I decided to switch Drs b/c I was unhappy w/ the way he handled some things w/ my m/c, and when I went in to pick up my records, I freaked out just from the smell of the waiting room. It's not a bad smell, it's just that there are so many memories attached to it. I'm really glad I had already planned on changing Drs, and I applaud those of you who are stronger than me and are able to go back to the same place. My hearts and prayers go out to everyone.
Carolyn

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It seems they do that in a lot of situations. When we were still in Leeds after Zane died we had to go and register the birth and death at the registry office, but the waiting room was full of families with their new babies. It was so heartbreaking. Sad

PREG MENT

Also, with this pregnancy i had a couple of scares early on and had to go to EPADS at York Hospital. The waiting room is the same there for everyone. This poor woman came out of a scan room just as we were heading to the waiting room behind them. The nurse handed her a leaflet about ectopic pregnancy and left her to sit with the rest of the pregnant ladies. She was shaking uncontrollably while reading the leaflet and her husband was sat crying with her. I didnt know where to look, and the poor woman must have just wanted to get the hell out of there.

I hope you're feeling physically better. The mental healing does take a while and if you're not ready for work please just give yourself time. You will get there eventually. Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry for your loss & also for the trauma in the doc's office. I know exactly how you feel but definitely look into seeing a therapist. There's nothing wrong with doing that. I truly hope the past couple of days have been better for you....it will get better.

:bigarmhug:

Tyjuana

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