Well, just sharing my story. I realize there are others here with more traumatic stories than mine.
I first found out I was pg with our 3rd on April 10...I got a really super duper faint positive. I knew something was up b/c I was all of a sudden ravenously hungry starting a few days before I tested. Since we hadn't been trying, I waited about a week to tell DH, who was a little upset b/c we were not thinking of having a baby this year...anyway, he got on board after a week and we were getting excited.
I wanted to wait until I was around 6 weeks to see our OB, who does an "early dating u/s" to determine that we have a viable uterine pg. So, we went in on what should have been approx. 6 weeks (Apr. 30) based on when I think I must have ovulated. The first red flag went off for me when she said that it looked like I was only 4 or 5 weeks. I knew that wasn't possible based on when I got that 1st faint pos. No bloodwork that day since I was "too early" to determine a viable pg.
She wanted to see us again in 2 weeks to see if there was a hb and then do bloodwork. We went back and there was a great hb at 156 bpm. Baby had grown and was measuring exactly 7 weeks now (consistent with it measuring approx 5 weeks at our previous appt. 2 weeks earlier), but she was concerned that the gestational sac was too small and that it could be signaling an abnormal pg. My 2nd red flag went off. Given that with my prior pg.s I was never more than a day or two off with dating, the fact that I was off by a whole week and then the small gestational sac, I was pretty worried and on edge. DH was convinced that I was being paranoid and that everything would be fine. Our OB wanted to see us back in 2 weeks to see if the sac had caught up and then do blood work.
I started spotting 4 days before my appointment, so I went in for an u/s. I should have been close to 9 weeks, but we found that baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. Well, 7 wks and 6 days, but I'm rounding up, since baby was only 1 day shy of 8 weeks.
We don't know what caused the problem(s). I chose to use misoprostol b/c I didn't like the idea of my carrying a baby that had ceased to live. We stared for a long time at the baby, looking for any sign of cardiac activity. There was absolutely none.
The OB prepared me for a painful process, "worse than any period" I'd ever had...
I started the misoprostol with vicodin the next day. Even after the 4th and final dose, I still wasn't even hardly bleeding. Definitely not even enough to fill a pad. I was scared and frustrated b/c I'd expected really heavy bleeding and I didn't want things to drag on and on and not have any closure. The cramps and nausea were definitely just as bad as I'd expected.
The next morning right before I started to get out of bed, I passed everything at once.
I ran to the restroom with DH following closely and found that I'd passed the entire gestational sac. It was a little smaller than a ping pong ball. I was scared to look, but knew I'd regret it if I didn't...so I looked. I am glad that I did, b/c I feel that I got closure.
It looked just like the pregnancy book drawings of an 8 wk. old fetus. The eyes weren't weird looking on the side of the head, they had already moved in some and were just these tiny dots. Our baby was a bit thinner and had longer limbs than the robust illustration of an 8 week old fetus in my pg book, but length/size was approx. the same. The spine was still a ridge with a hint of a "tail", but not too alien-like. The head wasn't too bulbous as to look scary. The baby was perfectly flesh toned. So, all in all, not too scary looking. At least I didn't feel scarred from looking at it. To my untrained eye, it looked completely whole and perfect. Obviously there must have been something wrong with it.
I told my mom it was similar to looking at a magic 8 ball in that the sac wasn't entirely transparent, more transluscent. Obviously the liquid isn't dark, but it also wasn't like seeing a baby through a clear "container" and liquid.
So, since then, I've been having the usual rush of hormones after a pg is over which can be hard to deal with even without going through something like this. I still can't believe this happened to us. The process is a lot more painful than I would have imagined. I mean, it is one thing to hear from the Dr. that it will be like the very worst period ever. It's entirely a different thing to be actually dealing with it physically. I feel like I was pretty well prepared emotionally for how I would feel.
I just don't know what this means for my future. I was due Dec. 31...I wonder if I will have a really difficult Christmas this year? Or will I just remember the short pregnancy I had and be grateful?
I still feel pretty emotional and get sad easily...
I'm still having bleeding...I don't know how much longer that should last. It isn't so bad, but at least once a day I'm still having cramping and a good deal of blood.
I'm sure my story is mild compared to a lot of the losses some of you have experienced....just wanted to share my story here as well.