m/c f/u appt- terrible...graphic

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Lace's picture
Joined: 11/20/03
Posts: 27
m/c f/u appt- terrible...graphic

I went Tuesday for my f/u appt after my m/c this weekend. The Dr I saw I had only seen once before. She started off the conversation by telling me I had to wait 6 months to get pg again. Not a big deal b/c I can't handle another loss. DH and I have discussed it and we want to wait 6 months. But she could have shown some compassion and not just jumped into that. Then she did the vaginal exam and said my cervix was still open and she could see tissue so went in with forceps and was all digging around in there trying to get a hold of it to pull it out. I was biting my hand to keep from yelling. Her nurse pats me on the shoulder and said "don't forget to breathe." I almost hit her. Then I had to go for a sono to see if the uterus was empty or if I would need a D&C. Between the Dr office and the sono I passed the clot she was digging around in there after. I also started cramping more and bleeding more. I went back to the Dr office where she told me that the sono showed the uterus was empty so no D&C. I called DH crying between the Dr office and the sono. I felt the dr was so mean and not compassionate. I am getting on bc as soon as it is ok. I will be seeing another Dr next time around. I did not have a good experience with this one.

Joined: 08/24/08
Posts: 21

I am so sorry your doc was such a b****. You would think, being a woman and all she would have a little more compassion at least start with a "how are you holding up?" This is such a tragic and traumatic time in your life, her out right disrespect of you and your loss is appalling. I am so sorry you had to go through that.


ducknjay's picture
Joined: 10/11/05
Posts: 71

I am so sorry for all you have been through. Why some doctors fail to understand the importance of a good bedisde manor is amazing too me.

Take care of yourself.

Joined: 10/09/04
Posts: 74

What a horrible experience. I am so sorry you were treated so badly.

I'm glad the clot came out and the scan showed no more tissue. I hope you heal up soon.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm sorry for your loss and the way the doctor treated you. To them, it is an everyday thing to see a m/c. To you, it is very personal and it effects only you. I am not trying to justify her treatment, as it was very cold. But, I think doctors sometimes forget how much a loss effects us.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Oh hon! I am so sorry. What a horrible way to make things even more difficult. Hugs!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ooo! That makes me angry! I would write a letter of complaint to the clinic explaining her terrible behavior! There is NO justification for that! She needs to treat EACH and EVERY patient with respect, not just like a subhuman needing a clot taken out. REALLY REALLY big hugs! Im sorry you had to deal with that!

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry that you had to deal with that kind of treatment. Is there any way to file a complaint? It is important to have treatment like that documented. You are probably not the first person to be treated that way.

Hugs to you my dear.

healinghandz1's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 32

I'm so sorry! I can totally relate. I had went to ER when my m/c started. (no problems up to this point) They were so nice, but my little local hospital doesn't have an OB or maternity. I was feeling o.k. and went on to OB/GYN and she sent me across the street to another hospital because I had started bleeding pretty heavy at this point. I ended up loosing about 2 pints of blood in the hour it took to get into the maternity ward. Well this Dr. that I never met comes in my room. The nurse had gotten me the stir-ups before he come in. He never introduced him self, he just started ripping tissue out of my cervix. Unlike you, I screamed bloody murder. I begged him to stop. When he was through I ask him what was happening, he put his hand on his hip and said "you're having a m/c, I thought that was obvious!" Du...... I knew that part. DH was busy filling out paperwork when he started hearing me scream, they wouldn't let him in the room. When he did come in the bed was covered in blood, he thought I was dying.

I'm sorry you had to go through that too.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry that you went through such a horrific experience. And I'm glad you're switching doctors and that you're physically okay.

It's a personal decision, but I agree with the posters above who have suggested sending a complaint. It's NOT okay (not at all) how they mistreated you, and you deserve the chance to voice your opinion. Also, hopefully you might also be doing other women a favour (indirectly) -- those who are still seeing that doctor and staff.

Great big bear hugs,

Lace's picture
Joined: 11/20/03
Posts: 27

The only problem with voicing a complaint is that I am a health care provider and have to work with this Dr on a regular basis. It is a sensitve issue b/c I don't need to cause too many waves or burn bridges. I talked to a friend of mine who is a nurse in the l&d where the dr delivers and she says that the Dr is not very nice and she does not know if her contract will be extended or not. It's not even that I wish bad things for her. I just wanted a little more compassion and concern.

allyinthevalley's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 66

This completely disgusts me. I am SO sorry that your doctor was no good, and at such a hard time in your life, too... I hope that you can find a GOOD doctor who has some compassion.

Joined: 10/19/08
Posts: 9

It makes me so angry that you were treated this way. You deserved so much better. This is such a hard time to begin with, that was not needed.

It makes it more difficult that you have to work for her. I am assuming you are not in the position to leave this job, switch to another dept or something? We can hope her contract is not extended. Nevertheless, it does not justify how she treated you.

Sending hugs.