(m/c, loss, preg, & child mentioned) - unexpected
I am new to this specific board but not new to pregnancy.org
Yesterday, I found out I was pregnant. I also found out I was m/c at the same time.
I have a follow up appointment this morning to find out more details.
I have very mixed feelings about all this. I have no idea how I feel. I feel numb - am I in shock?
This is not my first m/c. My first preg ended in a m/c. At 8 weeks - no hb and a D&C at 9 weeks. The first time I was devastated. I cried as soon as the hb was not found. I was completely devastated. It took me a long to heal.
My second pregnancy I carried to term. I have a healthy baby girl about to turn 1 at the beginning of Aug. I had a hard time attaching to this preg., as I think I was scared of another loss. That blissful, innocent, happiness was gone from my first m/c.
Since my baby, I have not been on bc. However, we have not been actively trying. My husband doesn't really want another child and I am undecided (he has 3 and is 40, I have 1 and am 29). We thought we would let nature decide. I have irreg periods and fertility issues, so getting preg is not easy. I was on clomid to have my daughter. I have not had a period in prob 6 months, which is not abnormal for me. I have tested every now and again and it was always neg.
Sunday night I began bleeding excessively with major clotting. I was scared and almost went to the emergency room. I called the dr on Monday morning and got an emergency appt. At that time, she told me I was preg but I was m/c. Since then, I have been very distant and feel detached. My dr, who I have a decent relationship with, says it will hit me later once the shock wears off. I just don't know. I don't know why I don't feel anything. I don't know why I am acting this way. I don't really know how I feel or what I think. I am just kind of here.
The dr told me not to go to work, to stay home and rest but I just can't. I went back to work last night and I am here at work this morning.
I tried to find this bulletin board this morning because I just don't know what to do or what to make of this.