M/C Ment. Childern MentMy little one would have been 4 on the 10.

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Joined: 08/29/07
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M/C Ment. Childern MentMy little one would have been 4 on the 10.

M/C Ment Childern Ment

I find my self thanking of him. Wishing that I could have just hold him just once. Wishing that we could have a the chanse to say good bye. He was m/c with now D&C. As fare as I know he was healthy one visited and go the nexts. It's going to be a bad day on Saterday, I'll be home with my little girl all day with nothing to keep me mand of missing him. I can't brack down infrond of me little girl she only tow and would get scared. :help1: can anyone thank of anything I could do to at list look o.k. for me little girl?

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I'm so sorry that it hurts as deeply still. I can't imagine a year that will ever go by where my angels birthdays will go by without hurting.

I dont have living children, so i dont know, but do you think it would be okay to explain to your daughter why you are sad? I know she is only two, and i dont know how much they understand at that age... maybe it isnt possible. If not, could someone perhaps look after her for a short while so that you can have a moment to yourself to grieve for your lost son?

Whatever you decide to do, i am sure that the fact that you are missing him makes it a special day.

:bighug:

Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

Anniversaries are so difficult and when you have a little one to look after it makes it hard to grieve.

In the future, do you want her to know to know that she has an older brother who is up in Heaven? If you do then I think you might want to tell her that there is a little boy (or angel) up in heaven and that you really miss him. Explain that sometimes she might see mommy cry or being sad but that it is okay. It just means that mommy is thinking about the little boy who she can't see. Be sure to let her know that you are so happy that she is with you and reassure her that she is not going to go away, she will be with mommy. Let her know that on those sad days mommy needs lots of hugs and kisses from her beautiful little girl.

It might help to buy a hellium balloon and have her release the balloon (with you holding on to it too) on the count of three. Explain to her that when she releases the balloon it will go up to heaven and her big brother will catch it and play with it in heaven.

Weather permitting it might be a good day to spend at the local park and let her play, or perhaps take her to the library and cuddle while looking at books, or bake something together or do some crafts together.

It is going to be a hard day for you no matter what you choose to do. There is a wonderful book called "We were gonna have a baby but we had an angel instead" by Pat Schwierbert which would be perfect to read with her. You will probably need to order it from either your local library (they will search several libraries near and far and find it for you for free) or from a bookstore. It is pretty cheap (under $10) and it is a good book to read to young children. I have read it to my 3 year old.

Hope this helps. I will be thinking of you on the 10th (it is also the 3 month anniversary of losing my daughter).

Take Care,
Antionette