M/C - WARNING: Graphic, child ment

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
M/C - WARNING: Graphic, child ment

Hello,

Today was my second confirmed loss (third if we count one BFP that didn't even make it to 5 weeks). I have also had one successful pg, with the use of clomid.

I made it to 6.5 weeks, or at least that's what we think based on our best estimations - my cycle is screwy and we were surprised to have gotten pg without clomid in the first place. I had increasing amounts of spotting & bloody mucous until finally this morning it was clear that I was definitely losing this one. I was a little tender & bloated for quite a while, but then suddenly it was as if I was having a really strong hour-long contraction, and it hurt SOOO bad I had to call my mom to take me in to the dr. Luckily my family doc is really close & had a cancellation so we went there instead of emerg (which would have been a longer wait anyway). She is trying to get me in at the hospital for an emerg u/s, but it may take a few days... she just wanted to make sure there was no ectopic pg or anything.

The pain went down to just cramps again, but then I felt something coming (kinda like if you were to lose your tampon). I ran to the bathroom but didn't quite make it & when I pulled down my underwear it fell out & into my pants. I think it was both the sac & placenta (different colours) and altogether was about the size of a plum or small mandarine orange. This was about an hour after seeing the doc.

So yeah, I'm a little shell-shocked. I haven't cried (although my inside doesn't exactly match my outside), but I just don't really know how to handle this. Does that sound totally crazy? I've been just walking around in a daze since. I wish DH was home already (he's still on his way).

I wish I hadn't seen it. Maybe if I made it to the toilet I wouldn't have realized what exactly that was. Does that sound really big for 6.5 weeks?!? Is it normal to pass it like this? I don't remember it happening like this last time, and I should have been farther along then than I was this time....

My doc is sending me in for a full work-up (appt in Dec). I suppose that's the "silver lining". She wants us to find out why I keep m/c'ing, and it may also shed some light on serious health issues that my full-term baby experienced right after birth. They think I might have some underlining blood problems, and/or hormonal issues (PCOS has already been suggested more than once, but that likely isn't the full story, AND I haven't yet had formal testing for it).

Thoughts/insight/opinions welcome. So are hugs. Sorry if I sound kinda mental right now, I guess I just am. Analyzing has always been one of my coping techniques, along with planning/organizing. I know I'll have more children (I have to believe it in order to stay sane right now), but why does it have to be so f@#$%^& difficult!?!?!

~Shelley

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Dear Shelley,

Oh, sweetheart -- I am so very sorry for your losses. I know what it's like to have multiple m/c's, and to lose babies at home. It's such a scary, lonely, heartbreaking experience. The first time for me was in the middle of the night in a hotel room -- I didn't want to wake DH up -- so I just suffered the horror of it all on my own. I still won't go to that hotel again, years later.

I hope your DH comes home soon. You have my hugs (I'm told I give great ones), and I trust you'll get great ones from him.

Now since you asked about the size.....I lost our angels each around the 8 ~ 10 week mark, so further along than you were. I don't mean to alarm you in anyway, but none of my angels were as large as your description. It will be informative, I'm sure, to see what other posters say here. But my suggestion is that you PLEASE speak with your doctor about the size of your baby. At least you can get some reassurances and answers.

Feel free to PM me anytime -- I'm here for you. If I can help, just let me know.

Great big bear hugs,
Nicole

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 835

I didn't see my baby so I don't know how big it was. I just wanted to offer hugs :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Im so sorry you are having to go through this all by yourself for the time being at least, and having to go through this at all Sad I sure hope that your doc will help you figure out why this is all happening. Big hugs to you.

Joined: 10/09/04
Posts: 74

:bighug: I'm sorry for your loss.

All my m/cs were delayed m/c. First one measured about 5w on scan and the sac was fairly small, maybe apricot size. The other two were 7 and 6.5 week size on scan and they were both around clementine size, so it sounds about right to me from what you describe.

allyinthevalley's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 66

I am so sorry for you... I didn't get to see my baby at all. We had to do a d&c after it died... So I can't really offer answers to your questions. I just wanted, instead, to offer my support.

squirlyj's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 121

It sounds to me like your sac didn't break on the way out and the size sounds just about right. I know it's horrific. I've had 3 m/c at home.

Hugs!

cdokter's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 126

I am so sorry. I miscarried at home with my hubby. No Dr. woudl see me (even though I had a family and a gyno). I passed two large sacks. Together, they would have been about the size of a plum and I figure I was around five weeks (even though the m/c wasn't until 12 weeks). I know how you feel about seeing the baby. I saw mine, but it was already in the toilette. I passed both parts like that and for a while, I felt really bad about flushing my baby. It seemed so wrong but what else could I really do right? Loosing the baby at home was horrible, but at least I didn't have to do it in a public waiting room in emergency or something. I'm glad I rent though, I wont be sad to leave the bathroom far behind me when the lease is up. I'm so sorry that your DH wasn't there for you. I hope you didn't have to wait too long for comfort. I'm so sorry.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs. I am so very sorry for your losses.

I have only had d&cs, so I don't know the sizes. I hope the testing gives you some answers and a healthy baby in the very near future.

sunny_gal's picture
Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 494

Oh hun, what a horrible thing you've gone thru, I'm so sorry. My first loss was at 6 weeks and wasn't that size... but I'm sure everyone is different. My second loss (3 weeks ago) was at 17 weeks and I had to deliver her in the hospital.

I hope you can find some comfort in this board. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Shelly,

How are you doing?