May I Ask for Advice? (m/c & child ment)

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MammaKnows's picture
Last seen: 6 years 6 months ago
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May I Ask for Advice? (m/c & child ment)


I've lurked for a bit; this board was suggested by one of my BB friends. I'm in such a state of bummed and anger that I don't know how to feel or what to do. I've also posted this on another board, the TTC after a loss. I'm just hoping to get as much thoughts on this as possible - your thoughts are absolutely welcome!

The long and short of it is this: I have 2 children, ages 9 and 18m. We were TTC #3 and were successful - for a time. I m/c at 6 weeks; I had 2 weeks of knowing I was pg and then 1 week of having to deal with knowing that I was not.

I had my final doctor's appointment today and am left wanting. I waited in the office for over 90 minutes only to have a 10 minute moment with a doctor I've never met. She told me my hormone level from the test a week ago was in the 200s and that I need to be retested today to see what direction the count was going. She did the exam and told me that everything was in a normal position, that I had to wait 2 months before TTC and then walked out. That was it. I didn't get my questions answered and I don't know where to go from here.

I know I need to see another professional and you can bet your butt I'm not going back there. I was hoping for closure with today's appt but I didn't get it. I have two questions and I'm hoping that you ladies, even though we don't know each other well, might be willing to give me your insight and experience - to at least help me mentally.

First thing, is that I have type O positive blood. Apparently I need (or needed) to have a shot to help with the pregnancy. I don't recall having one with either of my previous kids. I read that it has to deal with the Rh factor. My first child had jaundice like NO one's business because he's blood type A. We weren't compatible blood-type wise. I didn't have the same situation with #2 all. So do I need this shot before I TTC again? If I don't get the shot, will that increase the chance of a m/c?

The second thing on my mind, which appears to be a common question, is why do I have to wait 2 months to TTC again? I know about the emotional side, in addition to allowing the body to regulate itself out, both hormonally and biologically, esp. concerning the lining of the uterus. I m/c naturally and finished bleeding in less than a week. I want to start temping and will happily (well, maybe not) wait until my next pd to make sure that I HAVE a pd and then go from there. If I don't wait, do I increase my chance of another m/c? I have heard that the first 3 months after a m/c are the most fertile. Is that true? Am I setting myself up for failure again?

I appreciate you taking the time to read (if you made it this far) and offering any thoughts/suggestions.

~ Hanna

Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
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As far as I know every doctor is SOO different in this aspect. My OB said taht there is NO reason to wait if you have a routine m/c. It doesnt increase your chances for another m/c just because you try earlier. As far as dating goes, my OB said that they would just do an early scan for reassurance and another for dating if I would have gotten preg on the first shot after the D&C. I wish you all kinds of luck! And Yes, find another doc if you arent comfortable!

sandraleigh's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
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I don't believe there are medical reasons to wait 2 cycles. When I m/c naturally, the Dr. I saw in the hospital told me I could start trying the next day. Although that's a bit of an exaggeration, I don't believe there is any harm in trying right away. My family Dr. told me to wait 3 months. I met them in the middle and we tried again 2 cycles later.

About the shot, I DO believe that they gave me the shot in the hospital during my m/c. I'm not too sure about the exact protocol for that though.

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I answered your questions over at ttcal, but wanted to send more hugs.

Last seen: 6 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/06/07
Posts: 20

I just wanted to send you some hugs. I'm going through the same thing right now. Sorry your doctor doesn't seem to have the best bedside manner.
I was told to wait 2 months as well. I feel pretty comfortable with it. I think its a good amount of time to allow the body to get back to its strongest after everything a m/c puts it through. I don't know at all about the possibility of a future m/c if you ttc sooner though. I do know alot of people though who have gotten pregnant sooner after a m/c....maybe it depends on how far along a person is when they m/c....meaning the farther along a person is, perhaps they have more to recover from hormonally, so 2 months is a good average. I don't know if I were you I would go with my gut and what feel right for me. You know your body best.
I have no clue about the shot. I would probably make a call to the doctor and say you forgot to ask them. It sounds like it could be important.

Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
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I am so sorry about your loss and your doctors lack of support.
I beleive the only need a "shot" if you are RH (-) and the baby father is RH (+).
Here is a link:

I had an early loss, around 6 weeks too, my RE said I could start trying that cycle. However, I do not think my HcG levels ever got to high.

If you still have questions call the office, or a office, back and ask to speak with the doctors. Do not be afraid to advocate for youself.

Last seen: 7 years 8 months ago
Joined: 10/19/08
Posts: 9

I'm sorry your doctor did not give you more time and answer your questions. That does not make this any eaiser.

Child, mc ment

My blood type is O negative, and all 3 of my sons are A positive. The rhogam shot is for Rh inconpatibility, which is given if you have rh negative blood. I got the shots at 28 weeks in pregnancy, and after my babies were born once it was confirmed they had the rh positive blood. I also got a shot after my loss, before the d&c. ABO inconpatability can happen if the mom's blood type is O and the babies is not. My 3rd son was very jaundiced from this. My other 2 were not affected. I do not know if this can cause or contribute to miscarriages in any way. My loss in Sept was my first so no testing was done. If your initial blood tests came back saying you had Rh negative blood I would think you would have gotten the shot with all 3 at 28 weeks, and after the birth if the baby was Rh positive.

As for TTC, my doctor told me after 3 cycles. I don't know why and did not ask since that is not a concern to me right now. I wish I could help you more with that. Be persistant until you get the answers you need.

I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. You and your family are in my thoughts.


Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Dear Hanna,

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I'm glad you've written in. As you can see from the above support, we're here to help.

I'm afraid I haven't a clue about the blood compatibility shot, but the link Missy shared was certainly interesting. Hopiing all goes perfectly well for you next time, Hanna.

Now about waiting to ttc -- like the pp's said, the verdict really seems to be out on this one. For me, one of my doctors wanted me to wait, but the other said I could ttc anytime!!! (I tell you, I was confused...).

I'm sorry that they didn't answer your questions -- I understand that medical professionals need to be objective, but do they have to be so darn "clinical"? Sheeesh. Anyway, so it's good you asked here -- my experience on this board has been that whatever question has cropped up, there's always been an abundance of helpful responses.

So...lurk no more!! Fire away with your questions! We're going to help you through this, hun.

Hugs to you,