may be returning to this site:(

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
may be returning to this site:(

Well I had my third ultrasound yesterday and the baby's heartbeat dropped from 92 to 50 in a week and showed no growth. They believe I am going to miscarry. I go back for another ultrasound on Thursday to see if the heart has stopped or is still trying to continue.

I am devastated. We have been trying to get pregnant for five years. We did IUI and then three rounds of IVF with miscarriages or BFN. Then out of the blue we got pregnant on our own. With excitement and hesitation we started going for ultrasounds at 5 weeks. I was put on prometruem because progestrone levels were lower than the doctors liked. I never thought I would be here again after seeing the heartbeat the week before.

I don't know what to do. I feel helpless and hopeless. I don't think I want to even try to get pregnant again. This is just too hard. I get hopeful and then I get kicked in the ribs when it turns out bad.

I know many woman you have had several miscarriages and then go on and have healthy babies but I am just thinking it is not in the cards for us.

I believe in God but can't understand why he would give us this gift and then take it away from us. My husband is heartbroken and I feel like a failure as a wife, mother and woman.

Thanks for listening.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry things are not going as well as you would like. I will keep you and your bean in my prayers. There are no words that one can say which can comfort someone in your shoes. The whole aspect of “not knowing” pure torture one it’s own. Here you are thinking you are blessed to have thing happen with out intervention, that it was meant to be, and like you said only to be kicked in the gut by a horse. Sending hugs.
Please keep us updated and I will be thinking of you.

ttcnumber1's picture
Joined: 11/01/06
Posts: 14

I am so sorry to hear about this. You will be in my thoughts!!

I know how the feeling of being a failure is. I feel like a failure because I have lost 2 babies in 2 years. Our first at 8 weeks because I had scarring inside my uterus and the second at 22 weeks because I have an incompentant cervix.. both seem like my fault because my body isn't doing what it is supposed to be doing.

I hope it all turns out okay for you, losing a baby is so sad.

marymoonu's picture
Joined: 03/15/08
Posts: 2183

Thinking about you and sending lots of prayers your way. :bighug: