mc, d&c, lost
I don't even know where to begin. I'm new to the site. It's been one week since my d&c and i'm STILL an emotional WRECK. Although this pregnancy was not planned our baby was loved VERY much. I went for my four month ultrasound and as soon as the ultrasound technician had a picture on the screen I knew something was wrong. Her face turned white and she stopped talking mid-sentence. After scanning *and pressing VERY hard with the doppler* she said "i'll be right back, I need to get the doctor". My heart sank tears started pouring down my face. The doctor didn't even have to say anything, I knew we had lost the baby. The doctor started out with the "i'm so sorry to have to tell you..." speech. For some reason our baby stopped growing around 12 weeks but my sac, uterus, and everything else kept growing. I'm still somewhat in shock. Everything was going fine. We were SO excited about our four month appointment (as it was going to be our first ultrasound and the first time we got to hear the babys heartbeat). I just don't understand. I never had any spotting or any other symptoms that anything was even remotely wrong. I was sick as a dog until days after my d&c. I threw up religiously ALL day EVERY day. I was so sick I could barely go to school & work.
I had my d&c on my 21st birthday (it was the soonest the doctor could do it and he didn't want my body to expel it naturally because it would probably lead to an incomplete miscarriage). I'm heartbroken, lost, and I just don't know what to do. I wanted this baby more than anything. I just don't understand what happened. I did everything I was supposed to do during pregnancy I read all the books followed all of the doctors orders ate properly took my prenatals--I just don't get it. We'll never know the sex of our angel though I have a strong feeling it was a boy. I had dreams about losing my little boy the day before my ultrasound (I woke up screaming and crying--I guess it was God's way of trying to prepare me for what was about to happen). I think about our angel every time I see a child.
We absolutely want to try again. However, this pregnancy will be planned and I will continue taking my prenatals and following all instructions as if I were still pregnant (i've read it helps decrease the chances of a miscarriage--at this point I'm willing to do anything that MAY keep this from happening again). We are thinking about trying to conceive towards the end of August *if possible* that way the baby will be born late may early june and I will have the entire summer off of school & work to be with the baby. Is is safe to try and conceive so soon? My last period was January 15th...I haven't gotten one since my loss. How long does it usually take for your period to get regular? Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. -Ashlyn
Ashlyn, welcome, but I am so very sorry that you have a reason to be here. I am so sorry that your lost your little boy. :(
Please know that there is nothing you did or didn't do to cause this, unfortunately it just sometimes happens. :( And only being a week out, I was still an emotional wreck too, I was a wreck for a month the first time, and well many months the second time.
My period returned 36 days after my d&c, both times. And my doc advised to have 2 regular cycles before we starting trying again. We have done that both times. I think ttc (trying to conceive) toward the end of August sounds great, and perfectly safe.
If you would like there is another board here, ttcal (trying to conceive after a loss) that is a bit more active than this board, and you can post there whether you are actively trying to conceive or not.
Hugs and prayers!