I have been through 4 m/c in my life the first 2 were not planned pregnancies and were a blessing in disguise. That took a long time for me to be able to accept and process it, as both were still very emotional for me. In the last 2 years with my husband, we have experienced 2 m/c. Both were very different and I am writing this for 2 reasons. One to give me closure and two for anyone else out there that this may help get through their loss.
The first one, we were 9 weeks along when we went for our first US. It was at that time they told me that there was no heartbeat. I so did not want that to be true, so I went into denial. I drove myself crazy looking up everything I could on the Internet. I had no symptoms of a mc so I didn't want to believe it. Then, 2 weeks later I woke up and looked at my husband and said I'm not pregnant anymore. I still didn't have any of the symptoms until a week later. There was horrible cramping. I called a nurse helpline (In Alberta Canada they have this service - I know it's not available in many other places). After speaking with the nurse, we went to the hospital. It was the worse thing I have ever experienced. (I have been in the hospital MANY times - but this was still the worst). I had to wait in the waiting room. We were there for 3 hours before Triage even looked at me. I was bleeding out on the chair in the waiting room. My pants were covered, the chair was covered and it was dripping down my legs. My husband found me a wheelchair and pushed his way through the emergency room doors and demanded that they do something. I was in so much pain. I was finally admitted (he would not let put me back out into the waiting room). They put a bunch of painkillers into me, which helped a bit. They sent my husband out of the room when the Dr examined me. He could see that I was starting to pass everything but that it was "stuck" in my cervix. He pulled it out while I pushed and was able to remove everything in its entirety. When my husband was allowed back into the room he was shocked at the amount of blood that was all over the floor and splattered up the side of the bed. I was sent home to recover. That ordeal was incredibly emotionally tiring.
This time, we went for an US at what we thought was 7 weeks. The baby measured at 6W1D and had a HB of 86. I was scheduled for another US a week later. It was then they told me that it was not a viable pregnancy. Not wanting to go through the same thing as before I started to research how to move things along naturally. I was in my own medical cabinet when I came across an essential oil that I use for when I have really bad menstrual cramps (I have had bad cramps since I was 17). On it, it specifies that you should not use during pregnancy. Since I got this (It's called Moon Cycle 2 from Saje) from my sister, I emailed her and asked her why you are not supposed to use this during pregnancy. She said that it makes the Uterus contract. So I asked that if I wanted this to move along then I should use it. She said that I could try it. I started putting it on my stomach Tuesday night. I was woken up at 4 am with horrible cramps and very light spotting. I took a pain killer and went back to bed. I got up at 8:30 and went to work. I was slightly crampy throughout the day, but I was on a painkiller so it was bareable. That night I decided not to go to my exercise class, which was good as my cramps became significantly worse. At 3 am I woke up and went to the bathroom and passed a very large clot. All Day Thursday and all day Friday I passed quite a few very large clots. Some were dark red, one was the colour of flesh. There was no blood on it. My cramping subsided Friday night and by Saturday morning I was barely bleeding. I should note that I continued putting the essential oils on my stomach throughout all of this. I decided to stay busy and as active as I could. If I was moving around the cramps seemed to be less then if I was just sitting. Late Saturday afternoon, I began cramping again and I could feel something passing. I went to the bathroom and my pad was full. I sat on the toilet and passed 2 more large clots. I changed my pad and went back outside. 20 minutes later I felt like something else had passed and went back to the bathroom. Again my pad was full and I passed 3 more clots. This continued about 5 more times. Always filling my pad, then going to the bathroom and more clots passing. The last time, I had a severe sharp cramp, I passed something, but it didn’t feel like the other clots that I had been passing. I grabbed a large spoon from the kitchen and fished it out of the toilet. It was the size of my thumb and was rock hard. It had veins in it and it was bloody. A little gross to look, I know - but I had thought I had already passed baby so I needed to know and see for myself what this was. My cramps subsided again and there was moderate bleeding for the rest of the day. By Sunday, I was still bleeding, but it was much less and was now a brownish colour. It is Monday now, I am back at work. There is still cramping on and off (but more like a light period cramping then the cramping I had the days prior). I am still waiting to hear back from the DR on when to schedule my follow up Ultrasound.
I hope this can help anyone else who may be going through this. It's emotionally hard. Every MC is different. try to keep yourself occupied while you go through this to take your mind off of it. My thought and prayers go to everyone who has to endure this.
So sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing these. It was this time last year that I was going through the events leading up to my m/c and I found some comfort in reading other people's stories and knowing I was not alone and that others had survived exactly what I was going through...
I had lots of bleeding for about a month leading up to my m/c, but beta numbers were doubling and my doctor thought everything was okay. On the night of May 25th, my bleeding increased a bit and I started feeling crampy which was new. I went to work all day on the 26th with my bleeding still increased and feeling crampy. When I got home, I told my DH that I was sure it was ending (we had been going through this rollercoaster for about a month already at this point). We had a good cry and spent a somber evening. I was 7w4d by LMP or 7w1d by ovulation. That night was the American Idol finale and I tried to distract myself by watching it, but I was just really depressed. DH suggested we get ourselves some ice cream from the freezer to cope. I walked into the kitchen, stood there for just a moment and then in the blink of an eye, SO much stuff came out. I was terrified. I had no idea what to expect and no idea that it would all just fall out like that. The worst part is that I could feel something solid in my underwear up against my body. I didn't know what to do. I knew I needed to change my clothes, but I didn't want to see anything. I was so horribly depressed for the life I had lost and scared to see anything that looked remotely human. My DH and I stood outside the bathroom and he held me as I sobbed, then finally convinced me that we had to go into the bathroom. He offered to take care of it all for me. He took away my underwear and just threw them away and brought me new ones, all with the lights off because he knew I couldn't bear to see. We went to the store and he went in and bought me the biggest overnight pads he could find. We had no idea how long it would go on. As soon as we got home and I stood up out of the car, it happened again... I filled a pad completely with blood and clots. Same freak-out outside of the bathroom and a repeat of DH taking my underwear for me. The worst of it lasted 3 hours, but I did continue to pass large clots and cramp terribly for about 3 days. After that, it was more like a regular period that went on for ~2 weeks. I was really just relieved to have it over with by that point. The whole pregnancy just didn't feel right. The bleeding had gone on for about a month, during which time I paid many visits to the doctor and spent many hours grieving. By the time the actual m/c happened, I was just so ready to be done with it and move on. I was so grateful that it happened at home and not at work because everything just came out so fast and so forceful... I would have hated to be at work or out in public somewhere and have that happen. So the experience was horrifying, but I was thankful to be in the comfort of my own home with the support of my DH. I can't believe next Thursday is the 1-year anniversary of it.
I am so sorry to hear that. You are very lucky to have a hubby to be there for you like that. Too many times we forget that they are mourning a loss too. The first MC was very hard on us and drove us apart for a while. Mainly because we didn't talk about it. This time around, my DH was amazing. I completely understand not wanting to look at it and just wanting it to be over. I think I had to look this time for closure. We are lloking forward to trying again in three months. Have you guys tried again? Have you had any luck?
Best of luck when you TTC again!! I hope you get a sticky bean right away.
Originally Posted by Jbaum2
Have you guys tried again? Have you had any luck?
We actually ignored the advice to wait x number of months to try again and got pregnant again immediately before I had my next cycle. That pregnancy, I started bleeding at exactly 9 weeks, never had morning sickness or any symptoms really. But at about 7 weeks, we had an u/s that found a heartbeat. I had also bought a doppler and on the day the bleeding started, I pulled it out to see if I could hear anything, knowing it was likely too early. To my surprise, I found a heartbeat other than my own really quickly, about 170bpm. The bleeding went on for weeks and 13 weeks was Labor Day weekend. It turned to bright red right around midnight on that Friday when my SIL and her boyfriend were arriving at our house to spend the long weekend with us. It was heavy that night and I knew I couldn't face them. I was passing some clots as well. I had been addicted to the doppler, but couldn't listen because I didn't want to know if it was silent. The next day, we made SIL and her bf leave and go stay with MIL and FIL.. I was scared of what was coming and just wanted to be alone. That Monday, my doc was open (Labor day, so I was glad they were open) and he got me in. By that point, the bleeding had stopped. He kept the screen to himself, but quickly told me it was still viable. He looked around for a bit but the machine was an old one. He got me in with the u/s tech down the hall to see if she could locate the source of bleeding. She couldn't find anything and the doc said his guess was a subchorionic hematoma and that the huge bleed with clots was probably the last of it. Sure enough, I never bled again.
The second half of the pregnancy had its issues too... My BP was really unpredictable and high at times, then around 35 weeks I started measuring small. My fluid started showing up borderline low, so my doc started talking early induction (I had already had steroid shots to mature the lungs at ~34 weeks, just in case). At 37 weeks, the fluid was checked and I was told it was acceptable, my BP was great that week, so he said maybe I wouldn't need induced afterall. Five days later, he checked my fluid at my appointment and it was 3.8 (they like to induce under 5, and I believe ~10-18 is normal). So it was pretty low and I was sent to the hospital immediately for induction at 37+5. My DS Calvin Michael was born on February 28th at 7:39pm weighing 6lb 8oz and 18" long. Absolutely perfect. My doc ventured to guess that the placenta was inserted shallow, which could have led to both early bleeding and low fluid later, and can actually be linked to blood pressure issues also.
We're planning on TTC again in a year or two. I really hope I don't go through the bleeding ordeal again. It's so strange because I've seen it go both ways now. The one obviously ended in m/c. But this time, I thought for sure nothing could survive the type of bleeding I was having, but he held on and is my little miracle. My first pregnancy was textbook start to finish and that is my son Sean who will be 2 at the end of June (yeah it has been a busy few years for us).
Last edited by marymoonu; 05-20-2011 at 11:29 AM.
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